Allie

Chapter 15

'I-is that y-you're p-penis?' I couldn't help but burst out in laughter at her choice of words, she lightly punched me. 'This is not funny nick, how is it that big?' I was laughing hysterically now clutching my stomach as she frowned at me. I finally calmed down and looked at her. 'Allie, we don't have to talk about this right now, we  will only do it when you're ready, if you're ever ready, okay? We can take it slow, at you're pace' She paused, thinking about what I had just said.

'Okay' she beamed, her smile returning back to her face. She hopped off me and grabbed the remote for the tv. 'What movie do you want to watch? Oooh how about Tangled?' She clicked on the movie, seemingly oblivious to the state she left me in.

'Are you actually going to stay awake? Unlike last time when you fell asleep in the intro?'

'Yes, scouts honour' she did a very non scout salute and laughed, smushing her self against me, because of the 'scary' parts. She does this every time, and every time I get played like a fiddle, I have come to the conclusion that she just wants an excuse to be in my arms.

~~

ALLIES POV
THE NEXT DAY

I woke up, sore all over, gosh, why were Nicks blankets so gosh darn heavy and hot? I was burning up. I looked down to see Nick completely on top of me, his face on my stomach and arms wrapped around my waist. No wonder I was sore. I strained my arms as I pushed him off me in attempt to complete my mission to get to the bathroom. I completely failed. He mumbled something incoherent, his voice raspy as he pulled me closer.

'Nick, I need to go to the bathroom' this time he lifted his head, scowled at me as he lowered head back down. 'Nick you're head is on my bladder'  he finally rolled off me, with my help. Okay, you got me there he rolled off my himself but I like to think that If I wanted to I would have the strength to push him off.

I speed walked to his ensuite and locked myself inside, peeing quickly and then going to wash my hands. I spotted the shirt that I was wearing the first night I came to Nicks. I plucked it off the bench and held it up. Linda had been kind enough to go out and buy me some new clothes so I didn't have to where Nicks anymore, they were way to big. Something dropped out for the pocket and I bent down to pick it up. My blade, frick. I had forgotten it was there, I hadn't relapsed in a couple weeks. I debated chucking it away, but I guess old habits are harder to kill than I thought. I dropped my shirt into the hamper and sighed.

I put the blade in the cupboard hidden behind a few of the products Linda had also bought me such as moisturiser and deodorant. As well as pads, not that I had any use for those, I still hadn't got my period. Ive never told anyone but Sophie before, it's embarrassing. She said it was probably because I had grown so much with not enough food and ugh I couldn't remember the rest.

Speaking of which I brought my phone out and texted Sophie, since it was a Saturday I thought we could hang out, considering we haven't in a while. Don't get me wrong we still technically sit together at lunch but we barely get to talk, as Nick and most of the football team still sit with us. Usually it goes like this, me and Sophie meet at our usual table, talk for a total of five minutes before the team sat down and I was caught up in a conversation with Nick. This was not all on me however, Sophie also spent her time flirting with Nick's best friend James. Im beginning to think something is going on there.

'Allie!' I heard Nick yell in that raspy voice again 'get you're bum back in bed!'. I rushed out of the bathroom, dropping on top of Nick. Then I felt something it was poking my stomach in the least comfortable way possible. 'Nick ow what is that?' I pushed up onto my hand and looked down. OH MY GOD. I got off him hurriedly and sat beside as he finally opened his eyes at all the commotion. 'Nick why are you um you know?'

'You mean hard?' He questioned slightly amused at my antics.

'Y-yes?' I think thats what I meant? For someone as smart as I was supposed to be, I had a severe lack in knowledge of that. Hey, it wasn't my fault. The year they were teaching us the anatomy ans sex education was the same year my mum had passed and dad had started hitting me.

'It's just morning wood baby' he got up and kissed my forehead as he walked over to his dresser putting a pair of sweatpants on. Jeez, he was um hard a lot. When he saw what must have looked like the most confused expression on my face he chuckled slightly. 'It happens to every guy, don't worry' he picked me up and carried me down stairs to get breakfast. I had been eating a lot lately and I really needed to cut back.

'Where are you're parents? I questioned looking around and not seeing anyone. They were both usually up by now.

'Probably at the hospital' I nodded as he set me down on a tall bar stool, the leather squashed under my weight and I cringed 'What do you feel like for breakfast?' He said smiling at me, 'oh Im not hungry, Im gonna get brunch with Sophie later' Nicks frown morphed into a frown at my words. Not technically a lie, she had responded asking if I wanted to come over after I had had breakfast. I'd replied with a thumbs up, she was expecting me at hers by eleven. I checked the clock, I had an hour. Luckily, Nick only lived two streets away from hers so I could walk.

It's not like I really needed the food anyway, Nick didn't say anything and nodded instead as he pulled out a banana. It was really tense in here, so I hopped off the bar stool, almost tripping on my way down and ran over to where Chips's food was kept. I scooped up one cup and put it in his bowel,where he happily devoured it without a care in the world.

Before it could get tense again I sprinted up to Nicks bathroom yelling that I was going to have a shower and then shut the door, locking it firmly. I heard Nicks footsteps up the stairs as I turned the shower on, blocking all thought. I stripped down to nothing and, on instinct I grabbed my blade pressing it into my wrist. I had forgotten how it felt, a borderline of euphoric and something that made me want to cry. The thoughts that I had kept away for so long now came smashing back in. I was fat. Ugly. Useless. Annoying. Disgusting. I cried even harder as I stepped into the shower washing away the blood and tears.

When I finally emerged form the shower my skin was red and irritated, but at least the blood had stopped flowing. It felt so good to be able to take long showers without getting kicked for it. Crap, how was I going to hide it from Nick? I wrapped a towel around myself and held it up with my cut hand, keeping it concealed from plain sight.

I walked out of the bathroom and there was Nick, pacing back and forth across the bedroom. When he heard me he finally looked up and rushed over to me. 'What just happened?' He demanded. I ignored him, he was being rude and I hated it.

'Nothing, now will you please let me get dressed?' I still hadn't looked at him.

'No, tell me just happened' he growled. I didn't feel comfortable at all. I exhaled, calming my self.

'N-nick, I d-dont f-feel comfortable l-let me get d-dressed' I whispered, my voice shaking. His eyes widened at my voice. He looked down, realising I was still in only a towel. 'I-Im sorry' he sighed in defeat, and I walked past him grabbing a long sleeve shirt and long pants to go to change in the bathroom.

Authors note
Long time no see! Sorry about that, also sorry if this chapter sucks. BTW please do not be a silent reader! Comment, vote anything really! Also pls lmk if y'all want smut!
Total word count-17025