My Best Friend

21

*1 week later*

A week had passed and both Meredith and Derek decided to stay on campus to rest but they never did any of that, they spent having sex all weekend, on the other hand Derek was still hanging out with Hailey and Meredith with Jack, but this was to try to make the toher jealous no that they know, so when they woke up on sunday they decided to talk to try to fix things between them.

Derek POV:

As much as I want to forgive her and start again I can't, something inside me tells me that if I do I will end up with a broken heart, but the other part tells me to forgive her and that life is better with her by my side, but I don't know which side to pay attention to and I'm dying inside.

Now on the other hand we have Hailey, who I never liked, but it was for a sweet reward to see Mer angry and jealous, and it worked perfectly, for something I'm here right?

In other topics that I would rather not have we have Jack's idiot, the idiot who only wants my girlfriend, WAIT I SAID GIRLFRIEND, SHIT, FORGET THAT, that he only wants Mer to have sex with him, that's why I became friends with him.

YAou heard the phrase "keep your friends close and your enemies even more" that I'm applying with Jack, there has to be a way to make him forget about Mer, and I think I found the perfect solution, because Mer will only be mine for the rest of our lives, REALLY DEREK, STOP SAYING THOSE THINGS, HE'S NOT EVEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

I'm already an idiot she's not my girlfriend, but god, I don't know what's wrong with me, but that nose that wrinkles when something does not like or her green eyes that change tone when her mood changes, those are things I love about her, SHIT THAT WAS NOT PLANNED, this can not be happening to me I'm getting confused, I'm in my thoughts and struggling with my subconscious when Mer runs his hand over my face.

Mer POV:

We are lying in his bed, naked, because the whole weekend was sex and more sex, and again it was love, SHIT, NO, NOT THAT.

Okay forgetting what I said, we are lying down, but I sink into my thoughts when I see his wrinkled eyebrows which means he is thinking about something, one of the things I love about him, WAIT I SAID, I LOVE HIM, SHIT, this must be a confusion.

We already went through trying to get back to how we were before, but no, I don't love him, it's impossible to love him, he's just cute, he always takes care of me, I feel safe, his hugs are the best, his face is the most beautiful, with that crooked nose that was the result of a football game, I THINK I'M IN TROUBLE, before drawing conclusions I try to talk to Derek but he ignores me, and then I realize that he is still in his own problem, I pass my hand over his face and he wakes up from his sleep

D: Hey, what's going on?

M: You were in your thoughts and I got bored -she says-

D: Sorry, I was thinking

M: About?

D: ---

M: Come on tell me

D: About us

M: But there is no us

D: Exactly.

M: I don't understand you

D: I don't know what I feel, one part of me says to forgive you and the other doesn't, but being here with you in my arms, I feel safe, at peace, like I'm immortal, I want to feel that way for the rest of my life.

M: Derek -she says in a trembling voice-

D: I don't know, but then I think it's my mind playing with me, and really only does this to make me suffer, I don't know what to do.

M: Okay -she says approaching him-

D: On the other hand, I never liked Hailey, it was just to make you jealous and it worked, but what does the one who just wanted to make you jealous tells me, that some of the above was true, but I don't know what's happening to me.

M: Der

D: But then I think of Jack, and since he only wants you for sex, he keeps telling it, he told me several times, "you saw Meredith, with that big butt, that's where I want to fit my big cock", I hate it, but from what I see you like it, so I can't do anything, I can just wait for it to be reciprocal, but that will never happen, you're going to kill me but

M: Derek

D: I heard Cristina talking to you, I know it's wrong, but you said it was just a tingle and wanting to experiment, but for me i not Meredith, and if that's how you see me, I can't be your best friend or your friend, I can't stand to see you go out with someone else, or you create a family with someone else, get married, build a house with your husband, have the children you always dreamed of, I would not survive to see that, it would kill me, I prefer to be crushed by a truck, or die on a plane, I feel that I am losing you when I never had you

M: ---

D: I feel like I'm the only person who feels that way, you fall in love with your best friend, in my case, I always saw you as a sister but everything changed at 17, and you were 15, you were an innocent girl, but you were beautiful, you didn't let anyone hurt you, and you defended yourself, I don't know what changed, or happened, but when you left my refuge was your blanket, I still have it, the last time I was in your house, I grabbed a perfume, and I put it after washing it, now it smells like you again, and whenever I am sad I wrap myself in it, everyone knows that they should not touch that blanket, It is and always will be my safe place, but I want something else to be my safe place, rather someone, and that someone is you.

M: Der

D: Really Mer, I know that maybe you don't have the slightest idea of everything that is this, because neither I am and I'm afraid, but I never felt like this, in our first real kiss, it was as if all the previous kisses did't count, it was as if I wanted to continue kissing your lips until my last breath, And when we had sex for the first time, it wasn't like it had always been, it was a thousand times better, it felt right, our bodies fit together perfectly, and everything was perfect.

M: ---

D: But then the problems started, with Jack, Ella, and all of them, but there was also another reason to end that, was that I was falling in love with you, but I fell in love with you since you moved, and when you came back I was me again, so I was just tricking my mind to see if it would happen. but it will never happen that I love you, I am in love with you, with every little thing you do, everything in you I love, I love you for 5 years, and I will always love you, I will never stop doing it, it is impossible not to love you

M: I love you too

D: What?

M: That I've loved you since I was 10 years old, and I'll never stop doing it.

D: Mer

M: I'm not playing, I love you, at first I thought it was a stupid crush on you, but then I realized it wasn't, and Jack can be a lot of fun, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you and nothing and nobody is going to separate us.

D: I'm in love with you Meredith Elizabeth Grey

M: And I'm in love with you Derek Michael Shepherd

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