When she thought about how she had caused him to feel the same exact loss, and he was still able to remain strong for the both of them, she broke down all over again with guilt burdening her soul. The water hit her body as her overdosing replayed in her mind on a loop.
She sobbed with her face in her hands. August allowed her to cry as he grabbed a loofah and softly washed her body. He paid attention to every part of her body to make sure that he didn't leave a single trace untouched, even washing her hair. By the time he was done he was soaking wet, but the Balmains could be replaced.
Ariel was important to him, and he knew that right now she needed to be catered to. She was fragile and vulnerable. He made it his personal mission to make sure this didn't destroy her. . . Or them for that matter. After drying her body and lotioning her down from head to toe, he dressed her in one of his t-shirts that he had left at her apartment.
He tucked her in and whispered, "I'm hea' if ya' need me."
Ariel did not respond. She simply stared at the wall as a lone tear escaped and fell onto her pillow. She heard August leave the room, and she balled her fist and bit her finger to stop herself from crying too loudly. She knew that sleep would not come easy, because all she would see in her head was the night when she overdosed in the club bathroom, where it started it all.
August closed his eyes as he removed his wet clothing and sat down on the bed in the guest room. He couldn't believe that their child was gone. The devastation that he saw in Ariel is what hurt him the most.
She's neva' goin' ta' get ova' 'dis, he thought as he lay back on the bed and stroked his chin hairs. Shit... Ion' think I will be able ta' eitha'.
He could hear her crying in the next room, and the pit of his stomach felt hollow just knowing that she was suffering. He was suffering as well, just in silence because his body had became so numb to the excruciating pain.
He never wanted to see her this way, and as much as he wanted to give her space, her cries were like a magnet, they drew him near. He arose from the bed shirtless, only throwing on a pair of sweatpants and went back into her bedroom.
Ariel heard him open the door and although her back was turned to him, she could feel his presence.
"Hold me," she requested.
August got into the bed with Ariel and wrapped his arms around her, causing her crying to cease. He rubbed her back in tiny circles for hours before she finally drifted to sleep. As August lay in bed with her in his arms, he felt himself becoming emotional.
The disappointment, slight resentment and sorrow that he felt, couldn't be explained, and it was hard for him to even fathom. Still in all, his love for her remains the same, and he promised himself that they were going to make it through this heartbreak together. Doing whatever it takes to repair it.
*****
Ariel
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