White Olive Tree

Chapter 32

Chapter 32
There is only the last day of February left, and the weather is still cold.
The temperature at night is less than 2°C, which in the humid Liangcheng city can be said to be bone-chilling.
The first floor of Song Ran's house was originally cool and comfortable in summer, but it was extremely cold this season.  Song Ran opened the door and entered the house. Li Zan followed and stood in the porch and looked at the ground.
Song Ran said hoarsely: "My house has a cement floor, so I don't need to change my shoes."
Li Zan glanced around the room and asked, "Do you live alone?"
"Yeah. This is my grandparents' house. They both passed away."
Song Ran put down her bag, immediately turned on the electric heater, and said, "You can warm up by the fire first, and I'll wash my face." Although she stopped crying, her face was covered with tears.
Li Zan nodded and said, "Okay."
Song Ran walked away a few steps and looked back. Seeing that he was still standing there, looking a little lost in thought, he pointed to the sofa and said, "Sit down."
"Hey." He walked over.
Song Ran went to the bathroom to get cold water and poured it on her face. When she looked up, she saw her own eyes in the mirror were red and swollen, making her look ugly.
When she went out, Li Zan was sitting on the sofa, hunching his back slightly and warming himself by the fire.
He rested his elbows on his knees, and turned his head over the stove casually with his long and well-proportioned hands.  The firelight reflected on his fingers, revealing the color of pink flesh.  His face also reflected a warm red light, but there was an indescribable loneliness in that calm expression.
Song Ran had never seen him look like this since we met again this year; or rather, he had never seen him look like this before, as if the hot firelight could not melt away the loneliness in his eyes.
She thought that in the past six months, when she didn't face the mirror or anyone, she should have the same expression.
Song Ran walked over and sat on the small sofa next to him, also hunching slightly to warm himself by the fire.  There was a distance between her hand and his, neither close nor far.
After entering the house for a while, my body was still cold and the coldness had not gone away.  She asked: "Have you been waiting for a long time?"
"It's been a while," he said. "You can't get through on your phone."
   "out of battery."
   "Um."
"Why did you come here today?"
"In that case, I think what you said may be right."
"But you are right. Wang Han lied to me...I can't say he lied. He made up 1% of the facts."
They are all right, but they are also all wrong.
At this moment, neither of them seemed to want to have a deep conversation on this issue, as if they had reached some kind of tacit understanding.
There is something more I want to say in my heart.
He and she sat at right angles, both staring at the stove, rubbing and turning their hands, revealing a little uneasiness in their hearts.
Finally, he raised his eyes to look at her and said, "Go and drink some water."
   "Um?"
Li Zan said: "Your voice is a little hoarse."
I was crying just now.
Song Ran was stunned for a moment, and then she realized that her throat was dry, astringent, and painful.  She got up and went to the kitchen to mix two glasses of warm water and handed one to Li Zan.
Li Zan held the cup and asked, "Have you cried a lot since you came back from Dongguo?"
Song Ran lowered her eyes and said, "I won't cry out."
Li Zan said: "Is it because of 926?"
Song Ran's hand froze for a moment, and she said softly "Hmm" and said in self-reflection: "Maybe it's because I'm not strong enough, so I always feel pain."
"It doesn't matter." Li Zan said, "I think it's good to be softer."
Song Ran raised her eyes to look at him. He lowered his head slightly, and the firelight reflected on the side of his face, which was particularly soft and warm.
Growing up, her parents always criticized her for being fragile and not being strong enough.  No one ever told her that I thought it was good to be softer.
Li Zan said: "Do you know how I felt when I saw CANDY for the first time?"
"What?" Her heart tightened slightly.

"The world in the photos makes people feel sad and desolate. But at the same time, they are very proud and grateful."
Song Ran was stunned: "Why?"
"Because I know the person who took the photo. She allowed the world to see the suffering of a country. I feel honored to know her."
"My comfort may not be of much use, but I think that only those who have fought alongside you are qualified to evaluate you. I think," Li Zan raised his eyes and looked directly at her, "I am at least better than those  People who don’t know you have more say.”
His gaze was firm yet gentle, seemingly with power, penetrating through her eyes and touching the depths of her heart with warmth.
Song Ran's nose suddenly became sore and she hurriedly lowered her head.
After entering the house for a long time and sitting around the stove, my cold hands had gradually warmed up.
She blinked away the moisture in her eyes, pursed her lips and smiled to herself.
He drank half the glass of water, stood up and put the glass aside.
She raised her head and looked at his ears,
"What about you? Is it still a problem with your ears?"
"If you listen to the sound, it's no problem." Li Zan sat back and saw that Song Ran was still looking at him stubbornly, so he slowly added the truth, "Sometimes I have tinnitus, so silence it."
She frowned: "Is it serious?"
"It's not serious at ordinary times, but at work," he lowered his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "if he comes into contact with a bomb..."
Song Ran understood and asked, "What did the doctor say?"
"Stress trauma. Because of being injured by a bomb, the body instinctively rejects it."
"Can it be cured?"
"I don't know." He rubbed his hands vigorously with a confused expression, "It depends on the time, but no one knows how long it is."
Song Ran looked at his hands silently. The hands for defusing bombs were long and slender, with strong joints.  Xiaoqiu said, those are hands that can play the piano.
She didn't comfort him, but suddenly asked: "Do you want to go back to your previous position?"
He was silent.
Half a moment later, just as she was about to speak, she whispered: "Tell the truth, God will hear it."
Li Zan bit her lip and replied, "I really want to."
For half a year, he anesthetized himself, pretending not to care, unwilling to admit that he was a loser, and always avoiding the desire in his heart.  But at this moment, he was absurdly hopeful. If admitting it would bring good luck, he was willing to face his unwillingness.
Song Ranwu muttered something silently in her mind, and then nodded vigorously, as if saying to herself: "It will definitely be fine."
Li Zan suddenly smiled softly, frowned and laughed: "Your comfort is too perfunctory."
"It's true. If you really, really want something, then it will definitely come true."
Li Zan obviously didn't believe in this unscientific approach and asked, "Who said that? You?"
"I have personally experienced that all the things I really, really want have come true... However," Song Ran whispered, "some people say that if you want to get better, you have to stay away from the source of stimulation."
"Stay away?" Li Zan raised his chin slightly and squinted his eyes. He didn't agree. "Pain comes from 'thinking' but not getting it. Without 'thinking', you can stay away. But if you don't 'think', the pain is gone and happiness is gone."  Gone."
"So I also think this is nonsense." Song Ran rubbed her fingers and said, "It's easy to comfort others, but in the end, you still have to continue to struggle."
"Yes." Li Zan twitched the corners of his lips very lightly, lowered his head and continued to look at the heater.
I just stood outside for a few hours and it was freezing cold.  Now I sit inside the house and look at the fire in the stove for a long time, and the warmth gradually penetrates my eyes.
The two of you said something to me, chatting in detail.
There seems to be no comfort; there seems to be no persuasion.
Just talk and listen; that's all.
The cold wind is howling outside, and the inside is gradually getting warmer.
The night was getting darker, and suddenly there was a knock on the door by Grandma Wang next door: "Is Ran Ran at home?"