*ON HOLD* suck it and see, you never know

black treacle

february 1st, 2011 - london, england

rosie's pov:

it had now been about 2 weeks since alex showed me the thunderstorms song. i thought it was incredible. he had also given me a solo acoustic performance that day. alex and matt met with the rest of the band and showed them the song. from what alex told me, it was going pretty well. they had pieced the song together quite well and were thinking to write more so they could make an album out of it. everything was going good, except i couldn't get my mind of one thing. who was that goddamned song about?

it was currently 9am. i had to meet with the band at 11am at julian's apartment to do some rehearsals. we were thinking of getting back on the road and making an album to have some new stuff to play. i was really excited. i like touring, probably not as much as the rest of the band. i love it just as much as i hate it. it's very 50/50.

i got out of the shower as i heard my phone start ringing. i checked to see the caller id and immediately panicked. once i realised i had feelings for alex and i had started writing songs about him it got a million times harder to talk to him without being all weird and awkward. i decided to pick up the call anyways.

"hey! rosie!" alex's voice excitedly exclaimed through the phone.

"hey!! alex!" i matched his excitement almost sarcastically. "what's up, you sound happy?"

"you're saying that as if me being happy is bad."

"you know thats not what i meant. can you tell me what's up?" i was getting a little worried at this point.

"oh- right! i was gonna ask if you wanted to hang out today?" alex asked. i didn't want to disappoint him by telling him i had plans and i couldn't, hearing how excited he was. but the truth was i had to disappoint him regardless.

"i'm sorry, al. i'm going to julian's today with the band." i said. i was quite sad i couldn't see him. i hadn't seen him since he showed me the song. he'd called me a couple times but it was nothing compared to see him in real life. "we could get dinner after though? i'm pretty sure we'll finish by 4?" i decided we could make a compromise. i still wanted to see him as soon as possible.

"i can't tonight. i agreed i'd go out with nick, jamie and matt to some bar." oh. i don't know why i was so disappointed i couldn't see him. we would still probably see each other sooner or later. i just missed him.

"ah, alright. we'll see each other sometime." i said. i hoped my voice wouldn't sound sad but it still did.

"i'm sorry, ro." he sounded quite sad.

"it's okay, alex, don't worry." i hoped he didn't feel guilty about already having plans. he would usually do that. then i'd feel guilty, it was all some loophole i didn't like at all. "how about we hang out tomorrow night? we could go to that japanese place you like?" please say you're free. i was determined to see him sooner or later.

"yeah- tomorrow should work." he sounded happier then he did before.

"see you tomorrow then." i said. i was smiling like an idiot. thank god he couldn't see my face.

"see you tomorrow, love." he said. i hung up after. if i wouldn't have i knew i would keep going on and on, telling him about how my past couple days were. i didn't want to bore him. but i also had to get ready to meet with the band.

i dried my hair, got dressed, did my hair, had breakfast then left. i was planning on just playing one of julian's guitars, as i couldn't be arsed to bring a whole guitar with me. i brought a little tote bag with my wallet, lipgloss, a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, my keys, phone, headphones and obviously the notebook where i'd been writing my songs. i never brought a lot of stuff with me, i just thought i looked more mature when i carried around a bag. i was wearing some black jeans, a 80s looking knitted sweater, a leather jacket and my usual pair of doc martens. i didn't have lots of fancy clothing, even if i had the money for it. i just liked common people clothes more. i popped in my headphones and started scrolling through my phone in an attempt to find something to listen to. i had decided on 'different class' by pulp. i remember when i first discovered pulp, in 1997. my friend gave me her cd of this album. i used to listen to it and scream the lyrics at the top of my lungs (the ones about being poor and treated differently, not the ones about sex and drugs).