Efímero | His Legacy | Formula 1

32. Yes, I would

My signing with Mercedes went viral as soon as it was announced. Maybe because I was already viral this weekend, and well, weirdly, Mercedes signs anyone for their driver academy. There are only 7, well now 8 people, signed with them. This announcement made this weekend more chaotic than it already was, but I am happy about it because it means I am one step closer to achieving my goal.

Saturday was crazy since even more people were talking to me and about me, but for me, the highlight of that day was Charles' pole. Charles seems to always be happy, but yesterday I saw a different kind of happiness, it was way more intense, it was pure satisfaction and joy. It made me very happy to see him like that. The amazing performance of Ferrari took some of the pressure off of me, which felt nice, but still in the interview post-qualifying there were some questions about me to not only to Charles but to other people like Lewis Hamilton who once drove with my brother. Daniel was the most bombarded with questions as he was one of my brother's best friends and was heard screaming "That's my girl" in the press conference. He simply said the truth, very vague but the truth.

It is Sunday, and before getting to the track I did nothing, but be on the phone texting Carlos. We talked about tons of stuff, and he told me he just moved to Barcelona and that he promised to visit me soon. I am very excited. He is one of the people I have missed the most. He was always there for me when I needed anything, now I have friends who also do that, but it was very different with him, it was a different connection I cannot explain. I miss him so much.

I am also very excited since Charles told me he would get me a car under 100,000 euros if I pass my driving test, and do not get in trouble in the next month and a half which sounds not so hard, but sometimes it seems like trouble just comes to me. I already know what car I want. I want a Mustang Dark Horse R. I have always liked it a lot, plus it is very good for racing. And with some modifications, it could be even better.

Though this weekend has been very useful in distracting myself I am a bit upset and sad about how things went with Lya. I am also still trying to understand everything even my feelings. I know I felt some sort of attraction and even liked her, but I don't know, it seems like it just all disappeared out of nowhere. I thought it would stay for longer, but instead every time I think of her I only feel hurt and indifferent. Did I truly like her or was it just my brain playing tricks on me? Was it just a desperate attempt to feel less lonely? I don't know, and I don't think I will find out about it, at least not right now. I guess I'll just have to use therapy for what it is actually for and not just paint my nails while I talk about irrelevant things with Addy.

I turn around to see Charles looking over my shoulder at my phone, specifically at my conversation with Carlos. I glare at him, hide my phone, and slap his leg before I get up. He dramatically grabs his legs and starts whining as if I just shot him. I roll my eyes and chuckle a little.

"That was for being nosy. You have no right to look at private conversation," I scold him, he still has a smile on his face.

"I have the right to do it, what if you are texting someone to do drugs with you? I need to know," he comments unserious. I continue to glare at him.

"You need to stop pulling that card. It is not working anymore, plus it was just a bit of marihuana. The way you are saying it makes it seem as if I was snorting cocaine and injecting myself meth."

He is the one rolling his eyes this time.

"But if you think is okay to look at private conversations, then I guess it is okay if I look through your conversation with Charlotte," I smirk and attempt to grab his phone. He is faster and protects, as if his life depended on it, his phone on his chest. He is so dramatic, and now I'm more curious about what he is hiding in those conversations. He seems to read my mind because his cheeks redden a bit. I laugh.