can you see me? / purinz

missing in action

Yunjin is right, Chaewon decides. She has been standoffish. As much as she wants to lock herself in her room all day and marinate in her emotions, she has to step up and be a leader. She knows that if the members aren't getting along it will be all too obvious onstage, so she comes to practice the next day aiming for a new beginning. She tries to be extra smiley to make up for the bad mood of the day before, praising everyone's performance and going over steps with the others even during breaks. It's the most productive rehearsal they've had in weeks. All of the good energy dissipates, though, when Yunjin and Kazuha leave to pick up lunch together and Yunjin doesn't come back.

Kazuha walks back into the dance studio with her eyes pointed to the floor, no loud blonde girl following after her.

"Where's Jennifer?" Eunchae asks, lacking the tact of the older members. Kazuha shrugs her shoulders, gaze still angled straight at the ground. Chaewon can tell something is wrong. Did they fight? She wonders. Did something happen? Did Yunjin get hurt? She feels her throat closing, like no matter how she tries to breathe she can't get any air in.

"Did that dummy get lost again?" Sakura jokes, glancing nervously at Chaewon. Chaewon knows her laser eyes are on again but she doesn't particularly care at that point because How do you lose a whole girl?

"She didn't feel well," Kazuha mumbles.

"Ah, there must be something going around," The dance instructor nods towards Chaewon. Chaewon is sure there's something more going on. If Yunjin really was just sick, she would have messaged the members apologizing and encouraged them to practice hard. But why would Kazuha lie about what happened? The thoughts racing through her head are making it impossible to focus on dancing. The feeling in her throat gets tighter and tighter until Chaewon excuses herself and rushes to the bathroom.

The HYBE basement bathrooms are not the place you want to have a panic attack in, but it's not like Chaewon has much choice. She stands over a rusty sink and sucks in air as best she can. She can see herself in the bathroom mirror and it's not a pretty sight. Flushed beet red, sweat beading on her skin and hair sticking to her face. The door to the bathroom opens and she straightens up quickly. The last thing she needs is some HYBE staffer catching her hyperventilating in the bathroom. It's Sakura, though, who steps into the bathroom and crosses over to where Chaewon is standing in front of the sink.

To Chaewon's surprise, Sakura wraps her arms around Chaewon. "Yunjinnie is okay," Sakura murmurs, "She would want you to be able to practice well and not worry so much about her."

"How did you know?" Chaewon croaks, "Why I ran out, I mean."

Sakura gives her a look, "You can't hide your feelings from me, Chaewon. I've known you too long."

Chaewon pulls away from Sakura and leans back against the sink, "I don't understand why I feel so strange when she's not here." There's that look from Sakura again, that look Chaewon has been getting more and more over the past few days.

"This is something you have to figure out for yourself," Sakura says gently, "For now, let's focus on making it through practice."

Chaewon nods. Sakura is right, Yunjin wouldn't want her absence to derail things like this.

"And Chaewon," Sakura adds, "Don't take this all out on Zuha."

Chaewon swallows, "What do you mean?

"She notices the way you look at her."

"What way?"

"Don't play dumb with me of all people," Sakura's voice now has an edge to it, "That girl desperately wants your approval and all you do is glare at her." Chaewon doesn't respond and Sakura reaches out a hand to rub her arm, "I know you're worried and it's sweet, but don't take it out on Zuha. She didn't do anything wrong."