Racing hearts

33.

Sebastian Armanelli

Another race, another loss, another shitty call from my mother.

When Mother didn't call right after the race or the next day, I assumed she was going to keep her mouth shut for once, but I guess I should've known better.

Having had enough, I decided that I was not accepting any more bulshit from her. It took me a while to gather the courage to call her out on every single thing she did to me, the most important thing is, I'm doing it tonight.

It would be a lie if I said that I came up with the courage alone, Claudia helped me. When my mother called two hours ago, I refused to tell her anything, she didn't need to be told what happened, she read my fucking expression, and told me, "You're fucking impulsive, take that impulsiveness out on your mom."

She sits beside me in peace in the car, constantly giving me the 'I believe in you' look that can bring me comfort through heartache. I pull her hands towards my mouth and place a kiss on it.

Sometimes, I can't fathom the thought of how my life would've been without her. Probably miserable, with me masking a happy expression every day when all I want to do is disappear.

"We're here," Claudia signals toward my family's mansion stopping my thoughts. I nod, "Yeah, We are," I murmur, taking a deep breath.

Once we park, I practically run towards the door and ring the doorbell. Our oldest maid; Jenny greets us with a smile.

The woman knows every single thing about my childhood, she even knew about my addiction. Jenny was so adamant back then that we tell my parents, but I constantly lied to her and told her I was getting the help I needed without my parents, so she kept the secret.

"Hello honey," She acknowledges me with a smile and pulls me into her embrace. Giving me the hugest hug ever, I start feeling like I'll suffocate. "Please, Jenny, I'm going to become a ghost if you continue," I say through erratic breaths. She releases me right away with an apologetic look, so I flash her a grin.

She smiles at Claudia too, and kisses her cheek. "I'll let them know you're here," By the time she finishes her statement, she's already climbing upstairs to get my parents.

Waiting for what feels like an hour although it's been barely ten minutes, I find Mom, Dad, and Cade coming downstairs. My brows furrow in confusion, "What the fuck are you doing here?" I ask with gritted teeth since I wasn't planning that Cade would watch this confrontation.

"I was talking to her about something," He replies. Cade never calls her "Mother" except when we're in front of people who aren't family.

Before I have the chance to ask more questions, Mother starts yelling. "You hung up on me, Sebastian, is that how you should behave with your mother?" I roll my eyes, causing her to shoot me a glare.

"Hello to you too, Mom," I flash her a flat smile. "You've always been so disrespectful and ungrate—" Her series of insults stops when Cade points a warning finger at her. "Stop," He says with the muscles of his jaw tightening. I settle my eyes on Cade, who has a worried expression on his face but tries to hide it, Father stands behind him and of course, he's just watching. "Let her finish Cade, it would ease the release of the words that have been stuck in my throat for so long," I say.

Confusion itches on Cade's face, while Mother's face just stays blank. It's almost as if she's unaffected, as if she doesn't care. I genuinely don't understand how, people always state that it's a mother's nature to show love, affection, and care for her children. I guess that's not the case here though.

He gives me a look as if he's asking me if I'm sure, and I simply nod. "Remember when I was seventeen, Mom? When I left home? Remember how you didn't care? Remember how I became a drug addict and you didn't realize it for a fucking year until your friends from the club told you? Remember how you always told me I was useless when I tried my best? How you insulted me? How you always kept repeating that I'm a disgrace to the family because of my career?"

Mom gulps, it's almost like guilt is building up in her eyes. At this moment I feel like I could just stop talking and drop it because of her eyes, but I know better than to trust the acts again.

Because I've been blinded by the unconditional love I had for her throughout my whole life. I would forgive, and forgive until I have nothing but regret inside me that swallows me whole every day because I think about how stupid I am for hoping for a good relationship with her.

The words need to be said, if not now then I'll never be able to. "You ruined most of my potential, made me believe I was unworthy of success, and I believed that till I started failing. I turned to drugs, I  snorted Xanax for fuck's sake." A humorless laugh leaves my mouth at the end of the sentence.

Uncomfortable silence stretches between us as she remains motionless, that's when I realize that she's giving me the silent treatment. "Well, I'm done, mother. You stay out of my life, I stay out of yours and I promise I'll keep your valuable reputation as it is."

I grab my keys without another word and move to Claudia so we could leave.

When I'm about to open the door, Dad stops me, which makes my anger strike even further. "You could've been more present in the past years instead of allowing her to control you–" I'm almost done with my sentence before I see my father's hands flying to my face.

The sound of his slap echoes in the air, it may have not been loud, but it felt very much so. Surprise doesn't make its way through me, instead, it feels like I saw this coming.

Cade takes long strides toward him, but I'm too fed up to watch, so I take Claudia's hand in mine and leave for good.

This family doesn't deserve how I try each fucking day to please them and take credit for my effort, if this is how they want it to be, then so be it.

"Are you alright?" Claudia asks with worry. I force myself to pull my lips upwards in a little smile, "Never been better," I reply. It's partially true, releasing everything felt nice.

She rolls her eyes and I open the car's door for her. When we're inside, I find her green eyes observing me. "I'm proud of you, this wasn't easy. You're courageous, Sebastian."

Sensations hit me like a train wreck, I inch my head closer toward hers until they rest on each other.

"I wouldn't have done this without you, I would've been miserable now," I confess. Claudia gives me an appreciative smile. "It's funny how I was only supposed to be your assistant," She addresses with a sarcastic laugh leaving her lips.

"We were always meant to be, love."

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Where do I begin? I haven't updated in like 3 weeks😭 I have to apologize for y'all, they haven't been the best. School has been consuming me and I'm not gonna lie and say that I'm studying 24/7 but it felt like I wanted to do anything but write.

Surely, this won't happen again because I was in a small writer's block and I think I'm out, I'll be updating 3-4 times per week, depends on how much time I have.

AGAIN, I'M SO SORRY.😭💘

If you liked this chapter, a vote would be appreciated💟