Want Me (BoyxBoy)

-23-

I glance into the mirror to see my face blazing red. Damn it. I splash some cold water on it, helping it tone down some before mustering up the courage to go back to the room.

"Good morning," he says once I'm inside.

"Good morning," I mumble back.

"Come back to bed?"

"Uh... Actually, I thought I might go ahead and leave."

His brows furrow, and a pout settles on his lips. "Why? You don't want to hang out some? It's only eight."

"I have something I need to do." The sooner I do research, the better. I can't keep him waiting forever. He'll get tired of me, and I don't want that.

"Okay."

The plans I made with Mom to go to Lily's Diner this weekend pops into my head. "And I promised my mom I'd go to Lily's with her. She usually likes going for the breakfast."

"Oh. I thought maybe you were just running away because you were embarrassed about what we did last night."

"No..." For some reason, I'm more embarrassed of what I was thinking about in the bathroom than I am about what we did last night. All I can think about that is how good it felt and how sexy he looked. There was nothing embarrassing about it.

"Okay. Well, let me get that plate for your mom before you go."

"I also need to change back into my clothes."

"I'll get your shirt for you, too."

"Did you ever dry it?"

"Yeah, I threw it in before we went to sleep." Oh. I guess after he went to the bathroom to clean up.

I watch him climb out of bed and pull a shirt out of his closet. He tugs it on before going to the door. I trail behind him to retrieve my pants from the living room. I grab them and my phone while he's in the laundry room. I quickly slip into the bathroom and pull off his shorts before sliding my underwear and pants back on. He's outside the door when I open it and hands me my shirt to put on. I then follow him to the kitchen, and he hands me the plate Mom let him burrow.

"Okay. Well, I'm going to get going."

"Okay."

I turn to go to his front door but stop and face him again. "I had fun yesterday." I step forward and press my lips to his cheek. "Bye."

He looks stunned by the action but blinks it away to respond. "Uh, bye. Text me later."

"Okay." I give him a small smile before leaving out of his apartment.

~

Once I get home, it doesn't take Mom long to get ready for the diner. The food was good like usual, but I couldn't help feeling awkward the whole time. Thoughts about what she'd think about having a gay son kept floating around my head. What she would think knowing I rubbed dicks with another guy and even let him blow me. That I have plans to let him penetrate me...

Honestly, part of me doesn't care. That part likes Ryland too much to care about her hating it. But another part wants her acceptance. I mean, obviously I want her acceptance. She's my mom. The parent I've always been closer to.

Despite worrying about what her opinion might be, it doesn't stop me from locking myself in my room and pulling my laptop out when we get back. I told Mom I was taking a nap, so I shouldn't have any interruptions.

I spend what feels like hours reading things about bottoming. How, if done right, anal shouldn't be painful at all. A little uncomfortable maybe but not painful. How cleaning isn't always necessary but more of a preference thing. Same with shaving down there. I even read about how to finger yourself to get used to the sensation. That it's better to try it out yourself to get to know your own body before letting someone else do it. How communication with your partner is very important since injuries there can be risky. And how your first time should be with someone you trust that'll be patient and gentle. Well, I'm not worried about that with Ryland. He's already reassured me he would be.