Prologue

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Journal Entry: Kara Phillips 2015

It's been a long while since I've opened this small book to write anything. I guess it hasn't crossed my mind since my sessions with Doctor Adams came to a close. It's odd, going back and reading old entries of mine. Seeing what kind of headspace I'd been in only a year ago as opposed to now was in and of itself, mind-boggling. Seeing how far I've come on my journey to peace feels, in a way, rewarding. Like I'm actually making some sort of a difference, somewhere. Even if it's small.

So much has happened in the last year since the fall of both S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra. I finally begun to join the others on their missions, of which has mostly revolved around finding and taking down multiple hydra bases across the globe. I was more than happy to disclose the locations of as many as I could recall, while helping track others down. Hydra was bigger than any of us could anticipate, including myself; but, with all of us working together, I've never felt more confident in our mission to take Hydra down for good. I found the strength to face my biggest fear, and I couldn't be more thankful to have the others there by my side while I did it. Though they aren't the most functional group I've ever worked with, I couldn't be more glad to have each and every once of them.

Natasha, naturally, is someone that I always tend to gravitate towards more. She's easily become the little sister I never had. She teaches me all that she thinks I should know about today's generation, which has come in handy on many occasions. I'm constantly sent multiple different movies and TV shows to watch, to which she often leaves small notes of which order to watch them in, and which parts to pay the most attention to. She also often takes control over my wardrobe, teasing me for my old fashioned sense of style. If I think I've done a good job in dressing the way younger folk do, she's always right there to heavily critique and tell me otherwise. If I try to put my long black hair up in a stylish bun, she takes it out the second she sees it. Needless to say, I've quickly settled on only styling my hair in ponytails and braids.

The only thing that she appreciates about my old way of living is my cooking and baking talents, of which I learned that I miraculously haven't lost my touch in, despite not touching a pot or pan in decades. It's gotten to a point where anytime we see each other, the first thing she asks me is "where's my cookies?" Or "you made me that cobbler, right?" Though, she does sometimes comments on the apron that I always wear when I cook. There's always something that she finds to tease me about, and remind me of my age. In my defense, clothes are much more expensive than they used to be, and I'd rather not get flour or cranberry sauce all over them. So they apron stays.

But Natasha's not the only one who's become a fan of my cooking. Thanks to her going around and sharing my cookies and other baking goods to the others, Tony Stark now requests I make him something at least once a week; though sometimes it becomes only once a month, due to him not wanting Pepper to feel bad about her cooking. I've eaten at their tower before, and I personally didn't find anything wrong with her food. Though, I suppose nothing beats the older recipes.

Tony Stark, though he has the most spunk of the group that often makes me want nothing more than to give him a hard smack across the face, has become a dear friend to me. I'd learned after a few times of working with him that the Battle of New York back in 2012 had a negative impact on his mental health, as any war would for any sane man. He plays it off well, though I'd been around long enough to see the signs. I wish there was something I could do to help him, though I recognize that I need to do more to heal myself before I can even hope to try and heal others.

And speaking of healing, Bruce Banner on the other hand is improving, slowly but surely. The longer we all work with him, the more we all begin to understand his. . . situation. I've come to an understanding that the Hulk and Banner are like two separate people sharing a body. We've created a system specific for Banner so we can balance his polar opposite talents of smarts and his near-blind Hulk rage. So far, it seems to be effective, and Banner is happy to cooperate with it while he continues his inner battle with his Hulk persona. In a way, I understand him in that sense. He sees himself as a monster, just as I often see myself as one. Though, as opposed to how he had been when I first met him, he has improved impeccably. I've grown to have an appreciation of working with him, both as Banner and Hulk.

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