Medicine. (Price 💧)

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*TW: suicide for this one my beloveds*

"Hetzen are you listening?"

The doe eyed girl looked up, pulled out of the trance of her own mind by Prices voice, to meet the eyes of the other soldiers at the table. "Huh? Yeah- I'm listening." Price scoffed at the remark, doubting the fact that Hetzen really was listening.

"Anyways.. you're all dismissed," as he said this the rest of the people at the table began to gather their belongings to leave and return to their sleeping quarters, "aside you Hetzen." She sighed as she heard this, sinking back into her seat with embarrassment.

Price watched impatiently as the men eventually left the room and the door swung shut, leaving the two alone in the room. His gaze averted to Hetzen, an angry glare hidden behind his calm gaze. "Where are you private."

She gave him a quizzical look, "I'm right here sir?"

He sighed, punching the bridge of his nose, "No Hetzen, where is your head at. This isn't the first time you've not been paying attention during a mission debriefing." His gaze was still cold, not really caring about the girls well-being, wanting only to have trained soldiers.

"Oh- no where. I'm sorry cap-" her words were cut off abruptly.

"Don't give me sorry. I need you here. These missions are life or death," he slammed his hands onto the table in front of Hetzen, the bang reverberating and causing her to flinch, "I care about quality and efficiency. You private, aren't giving me either right now. Pull it together, whatever little issue you have going on is not as important as what we do." His scowl was enough to make any of the soldiers in the team cower.

Hetzen looked up at him, feeling fear palpitating her against her chest. She was so taken aback by prices remark that there was no response to give.

Price leaned closer, his hot, cigarette stained breath felt on Hetzens face "do you understand me?"

"Yes sir." The words were barely above a whisper but it was enough to satiate price as he backed away and turned around.

"Now get out." He didn't even bother to look back and Hetzen took her queue to leave, scrambling to collect her belongings and get out the door.

As soon as she was out the door she pressed her back against the wall, taking a deep breath to calm herself. It had taken years to get onto the task force, she couldn't throw it all away over this.

She was too afraid to tell Price the truth, Tell him exactly where her head was at and give him a glimpse into the insight of her thoughts that consumed her waking hours. The fear that he would remove her from the task force or worse and shun her was barely palatable.

The only sound to be heart was the clunk of boots against concrete floor as Hetzen made her way down the cold corridor and back to her sleeping quarters; the events with Price still leaving her shaking slightly.

Eventually she reached a stop before the door and walked inside, shutting it after herself. The bed sink below her slightly as she sat down, scattering her belongings over the strewn sheets. Doubt had started its growing winds in her mind: was I really cut out for the task force? Should I leave now before it's too late and I mess up a mission? The winds would soon condense into a vortex of screaming insecurity.

In a brief moment of clarity she glanced up at the half full bottles of medication strewn across the bedside table and grabbed a bottle. "Sertraline" the label read. She unscrewed the cap with shaking hands, popping a singular pill into her mouth and swallowing, grip remaining firm on the bottle. The brief moment of clarity faded before the winds came crashing back down as horrific tsunamis

"Maybe..." she spoke aloud to her own mind, as if reasoning with the thoughts she held. Maybe this is the better choice. In her mind she counted out the pills in the bottles, calculating the logistics that it'd be enough before ultimately deciding that it wouldn't. No. I can't do that. My team needs me.

The thoughts were cut off by the silver glimpse of a knife next to the pill bottles. As if in a trance her hand gravitated toward it, fingers wrapping round the handle. She made quick work of unsheathing it and held it to the light, watching the flicker of silver dance in the different angles.

But maybe the team would be better without me... her grip on the handle shifted, holding it almost like it were a pen, ready to let her skin be the paper she wrote out her sorrows on. The tip pressed into her wrist as she dragged the across slowly, watching the skin split and beads of crimson blood pool. The moved the knife away from her skin, admiring the color of her artistry.  One cut became two, two became four and eventually her wrist was decorated with the red lines of her pain. She breathed heavily, each cut performed with steady precision. It's wasn't enough though.

Hurting herself to punish herself for the trouble she caused her team didn't satiate the lust to bleed herself dry. She pressed the tip into her wrist again, only this time with more pressure. One clean cut vertically. That's all it'll take.

Price walked into the room, looking up to meet Hetzens gaze and witnessing the descent he had triggered. "You left this in-" his arm remained outstretched, a small flashlight in his grip as the reality of what he walked into dawned on him.

Hetzen panicked, slicing the blade across her arm as Price threw himself forward, gripping the arm that the knife was held in and pushing it up, away from Hetzens skin. "What the Fuck are you doing?!" He looked into her eyes, not wanting to witness the River of blood that was pouring from her open veins.

Hetzen didn't answer, her eyes wide in shock but face devoid of all emotion. She pulled against Prices grip, determined to finish the job she started. "Private. Answer me. Hetzen?" His cries became more frantic.

"Let me go!.. just let me do this... please.." the authority in her voice slowly faded to desperate pleas for him to listen, to hear her out, to somehow understand why the only valid option in this moment was for her to end her own life

"No Hetzen. As your captain I cannot let you fall to harm!" His words were laced with anger as he said them. "And as your friend? I can't lose you. Not like this..."

Price watched as the girl beneath him slowly fell apart, tears beginning to fall from her cheeks. She relaxed her arm, allowing Price to take the knife with his free hand and throw it away from her reach.

"Hetzen... why would you do this.." his gaze averted from hers, following the trail of red to the wounds she inflicted.  Hetzen finally broke, doubling over and spiraling into incoherent sobs

"I just.. I don't.. I can't do this..." Price pulled her to his chest, embracing the girl before him and not caring about the blood that began to stain his clothes.

"Shhh shh shh... you're fine. I'm not angry." He took a deep breath "I just don't understand why" he looked at her, brow furrowed.

Hetzen didn't reply, simply shaking her head between sobs.

"You have a warm soul. You have a beautiful brain-" Hetzen cut him off.

"But it's disintegrating, from all the medicine.." her teary eyes looked up at Price, silent pleas for him to save her from herself. She wanted to leave, wanted it to all end, didn't want all this pain to consume her mind.

He pulled her closer, whispering to her "it'll be alright... you'll be alright... I've got you now.."

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AN: this one was longer than the other- and uh- very deep. It was inspired by the song Medicine by Daughter if you couldn't tell. :D

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