𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒂𝒃𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 | Alex Turner

30. steppin' on the last train

"Yelena, do not think that alright? You should talk to him." I knew she's gonna say this because she doesn't know Alex.

"No, i can't , i can't tell him. He's gonna be mad.." I trailed off, as i looked down, "we're not even together."

I felt the hotness roll down my cheeks. It's hurt to think that Alex is not in love with me, i knew he will never gonna accept another child in his life. If i told him about this baby he's gonna freak out and mad...too mad, i know how he gets mad, especially with this kind of problem.

"But Yelena, this baby inside you is also Alex's baby." Aneesa told me, seating next to me. "He's the reason why you are pregnant, he should know."

"But i cant tell him, Im scared." I looked at her with a fear in my eyes, the tears continue to roll down my cheeks. "i know Alex doesn't want another child in his life."

Aneesa need to know something about Alex.

"Yelena..."

"I can take care the baby myself. I'll raise the baby, after all im gonna be a mother." I cut her off, as i wiped the tears. I know this is not a good decision to make but im too afraid to tell Alex that im pregnant and he's the father.

That's not even what im afraid of. Im afraid to hear that he's not in love with me, I can't stay with a man who does not in love me, who only like is my body. Im also afraid that Alex will abandoned me and the baby as soon he finds out. God, im scared, i dont know what to do, i feel like im dying.

Alex and I suppose to be fúcked but why this happened? I dont even know how this happened, for all i know Alex and i were sometimes using protection, and we also using withdrawal method so how this possible? God, Yelena you're very stupid to think that withdrawal is safe.

"Yelena, are you sure you dont want to tell Alex? It's for the best to tell him, you dont want the baby to grow up without a father." Aneesa said.

God, She's right, i dont want the baby to grow without a father, i dont want this baby to be like Brielle who never had a perfect family. But i had no choice, i just can't tell Alex.

"No, i know Alex, and i know he's not gonna accept this baby." I repeatedly said, trying my best not to cry again.

"But he's still gonna find out especially you're in his house and you're definitely gonna have baby bump, he's going to notice that." That made me realise that she's right, if i want to keep this child away from Alex, then I can't stay in one roof with him.

The only choice i have is to leave Alex, and quit on my job. God, this is too worse, It's hard for me to leave Brielle, i love that girl so much that I'll do everything i can to make her happy but now that im having a baby, maybe it's time for me to think about my baby.

"Im gonna quit on my job–God! I dont know i guess i have to leave my job, i just need one week then im leaving." I stated delicately, i know i have no choice but accept this baby, half of me that im happy that im having a baby but i feel sad because this baby won't ever had a father.

As soon i talked to the doctor of what should i do and what should i not do when pregnant and of course i had to make sure that this baby is healthy. I dont want to abort it, i just cant do it, i had no choice but accept it.

If only i never had sèx with Alex none of this will happened. I know i chose it and I can't help it because im in love with him.

When everything is settled, i went home and it's already dark outside, i told Aneesa that not gonna tell Yaz yet. Im just not ready to tell him or anyone that im pregnant, i still cant believe it, and i still cant told my mind to accept it.