Trusting Desire

Chapter Three

Roger's P.O.V.

Mimi was high again last night. That's why I slept over for the third night in a row. I hate seeing her high, but I'll never leave her alone when I can help it. She is like a little sister to me; I'll do anything to protect her.

"I think you should go to rehab," I suggest after a while of sitting beside her on the couch in the silence of the morning, "it helped me. I've been clean for a year now."

She doesn't respond. She never does when I suggest rehab or anything regarding getting clean. The room fills with an awkward silence again. She looks tired, her usually bright, brown eyes are dim with dark circles surrounding them, and she is cuddled under a blanket against the arm of the couch. She is thinner in both her body and her face. I remember being in the same place a year earlier. Trapped in the same cycle of needles and depression, my little brother, or more precisely, my little brother's death, pulled me out and made me decide to go to rehab. I didn't want my mother to go through that again, to lose another son.

"Any new songs," Mimi asks, looking at my guitar beside me.

"Nothing new," I sigh. It had been so long since I was inspired to write anything new, "just the same old shit."

Mimi rolls her eyes, "do you always have to be so brooding, Roger?"

"Do you always have to be so nagging?" I stick my tongue out at her.

She returns the gesture. Things are going back to normal; it feels nice.

"You need to get laid," Mimi jokes.

Now I am the one rolling my eyes, "That's your answer to everything."

"I'm right," she is smiling. I missed her smile I haven't seen in the past three days, "it would lighten you up."

I pick up my guitar and start strumming, "I'm plenty light."

Mimi laughs harder than I have heard in a long time, "Light my ass, Roger. You're like the fucking grim reaper."

Maybe she is right. I do tend to live inside my head. Because I am not good at expressing my emotions or talking about them, I harp on them in my thoughts.

"Oh, and you're what, all rainbows and sunshine?" I ask, looking at her with a smirk.

"Obviously," she giggles.

I just roll my eyes and return to my guitar; I am playing an old song when the phone rings. Mimi smiles at the sound of the phone, "ohh, boyfriend calling?" I smirk at her again.

She wrinkles her nose at me and starts for the phone, but I'm closer and beat her to it, "Hello?"

"Uhh-hi, is Mimi there?" the guy on end sounds young and nervous, not Mimi's usual type. Mimi is pulling on my arm to try and get the phone.

"Roger, give it to me!" She is laughing; I hold back for a second but give in and let her have the phone.

"Hello," she says when I hand her the phone.

I don't hear what the boy says, but the next thing Mimi says is, "Of course you can! I'll be right down."

She sounds excited; maybe it really is her boyfriend. I sit on the couch as she leaves the loft to go down and let him in; Mimi hadn't told me she was seeing anyone; we were friends we shared that kind of information. I always told her when I was seeing a new guy or girl or…person. Why wouldn't she tell me? And why would she date someone so young and anxious sounding? Mimi was more into the dominant type. I had met her exes. They were the big, scary type of guys, bouncers, usually from the club she worked at; this guy was definitely not a bouncer. Or maybe he just sounded different on the phone.