love, j 》nomin

15

dear you,

in the midst of my mind,
among the fascinations and visions,
hopes and wonderings,
there is a question.

'what does it matter anyway?'

let's say I wasn't me. that I could feel and share like everyone else.

I'd share how much you meant to me,
how I loved you more than
anyone else in town

you'd share how wrong that was,
how I ruined everything,
how you'd never feel the same.

this scene would only play out if I choose to forget just how observant you are,
how you could read me like no other.

in reality, I think you always knew.
never saying anything because there was nothing for you give back.

neither case is helpful for me
and my wandering mind.

so what does it matter anyway?

no matter how brave I am,
the words I need to hear
would never be said.

love, j