The Bad Fairy (girlxgirlxgirl)

36. Self hatred

These past few hours have been insane. She travelled through the pouring rain all the way to the loophole, possibly crying along the way. The idea of returning home without any results, and the idea of leaving behind a part of herself was just too much to bear, even for an archangel.

Upon getting to the heavens she had to go through a thousand different security checks and cleaning processes to make sure nothing weird would get into this realm. And through the process Evangeline couldn't think. Her brain was empty, completely empty, dull and buzzing with distant thoughts that she just couldn't quite reach. But now she has reached them, and they suck.

It's too much. She's too angry and tired to face the other archangels, far too much in her head. The curse word comes through her clenched teeth before she has time to think it through.

"Fuck."

Juno looks startled immediately.

Angels, do not swear. Not in public, especially not in the heavens. Especially not around other angels. But Evangeline's eyes are dark and scary. She's got blood staining her armour and her clothes, she looks like a tall lump of danger about to collapse at any moment. Not ideal, to say the least. But that's what she is. And the curse word was just a cherry on top.

"Excuse- me..- your Grace?!"

Evangeline rolls her eyes at the splutter. She already misses Anemone, and can't help but think about what the demon told her. That she's the one who taught her to curse.

Her eyes are wide with unfair anger. "Shut up. I'm not in the mood for social acceptance, I haven't slept in days and now I have to face these fucking assholes." She presses her sword that was sticking out of its belt, as far in as it can go, mutters something about being at the edge and then looks back up at a shocked Juno. Sighing, she gestures at the empty, wide hallway of her own estate.

"Lead the way, then."

"...Yes, your Grace." The angel mumbles, scurrying to walk ahead. Evangeline follows her without a word.

Each step that she takes echoes in the hollow, empty hallways. There are nothing but huge windows and a few paintings of old archangels hanging on the walls. Nothing else. No decorations, no rugs, no curtains. Not even any lights, as any light is natural and shines through the glass. Nothing about this estate feels like home, Evangeline has made sure of that. She took away all the decorations that were in place during her childhood, when her predecessor was still alive and archangel. She made this whole estate a hostile, cold and empty place, without knowing why.

People say that she did it because she's that kind of person. Cold. Unapproachable. Right on hand with matters. But Evangeline doesn't think she's that cold. It's just... this place has never felt like home, even if she's lived here her whole life. First as a child, then as a servant, then as a soldier and finally, as an archangel, the grace of this place. It has never felt like home, and it just felt fake, desperate, pathetic to try and change that.

Juno stops by the meeting room doors, and steps to the side. Evangeline knows that she's probably angry with her, if not scared. But honestly? She doesn't care. She's never actually cared about this place. So, it's without a word that she pushes the doors to the meeting room open, and steps inside without giving herself time to think about it, or even catch her breath.

"Evangeline! We have been waiting for news for weeks!"

Imara's voice hits her like a whiplash. Evangeline immediately regrets not taking a moment to gather her breath.

Meeting the other archangels is always a little nerve wracking, even for someone like her. But meeting them under these unfamiliar circumstances of failure is almost a little terrifying. Tiring, too. Evangeline doesn't know if she's going to be able to handle this entire meeting without losing her nerves.