Running On Empty

APOCALYPSE MEOW (Write to Rank 2023 Round 8)

"It's fine," she muttered, concentrating. "I'd just rather not hit one if it's all the same to you. Maybe Anubis there could stop calling his minions so loudly."

"Anubis was a jackal. Just—hell's bells!"

Dana shrieked, slamming on the brakes as a shadowy beast the size and shape of a lynx landed on the hood of the car. Fortunately we were both wearing seatbelts, or we'd have been windshield pizza.

"Whatthefuckisthat?" she yelled, trying to melt back into her seat.

I aimed my wizard's staff at the thing and shouted, "Forzare!"

Unseen force lashed out, throwing the creature into a nearby dumpster. "Drive, Dana! Go! Go! Go!"

She did, and almost immediately had to skid around another whatsit, this one a cougar-looking creature, but with horns between its tufted ears. "Okay, Harry, this is cool and all, but what the hell are these things?"

She was laughing. I chalked it up to terror. And maybe bad coffee.

"They're probably feline entities from the Nevernever."

"The what?"

"Parallel world. Supernatural. Lots of weird stuff can cross over from there. Keep driving." I hung onto the handle above the door as we careened through a red light. "I don't think we're going to get rid of them until we reunite Kitty God with its body. You're lucky you called me tonight. I'd hate to think what would have happened if those guys found your clinic."

"Ugh." Dana shuddered, and screeched around another group of cats—just store-brand tabbies, nothing supernatural—as we turned into an empty parking lot of the research lab. "Okay, we're here."

"Run ahead of me," I said. "I'll cover you. I think there are more on the way."

We got out and ran. I warded away several more magical creatures, these smaller but still the size of Mister, my thirty-pound tomcat. As we reached the door, Dana rooted in her pockets and swore.

"Dammit! I left my ID card at work! We'll have to—"

I gestured at the card reader by the glass door, and whispered, "Hexus."

A shower of sparks cascaded from the little electronic box, and the door popped open. She led me inside and we ran through a small reception area. Several cats bumped into the glass door and paced around outside, meowing.

Dana sprinted down a series of hallways and into a room with multiple plexiglass animal enclosures. "Okay, they're in here."

Only one cage was occupied, by a fluffy calico cat with huge green eyes. It rose and stretched, meowing a greeting at the vet.

"Hi, beautiful," Dana murmured. "Harry, this is Isis. She's queen of the castle lately, because she is the first successful surrogate mother to a kitten cloned from old DNA." She waved a hand at my duster. "Very old DNA, as it turns out. It was extracted from other parts of the cat's skeleton, and we created six embryos. One of them made it to birth."

I peeked in at the calico. The cat purred, then curled herself around a tiny black kitten. It barely had its pale gray eyes open.

"A quote from Jurassic Park comes to mind," I said.

"Life finds a way?"

I shook my head. "Something about being preoccupied with what you can do, not with what you should do. This spirit was probably resting comfortably until it sensed it had a body somewhere. Who knows what it's going to do, but I'd guess nothing happy based on what's already happening."

Dana crossed her arms. "Well, if you're asking me to murder this kitten, you can kiss my ass, wizard boy."

I sighed. "No, of course not. I'm just saying, we probably shouldn't be recklessly resurrecting moldy old deities."

"We didn't know it was a god. We don't have a test for that." Her hazel eyes flashed. "So what do we—"

From out of nowhere, a feline Goliath appeared and crushed the doctor to the floor. It was the size of a freaking lion, one from the Ice Age era, all shaggy mane and flashing fangs and talons longer than a Catholic wedding.

"Ventas servitas!" I screamed, aiming my staff at it. A blast of wind flattened the giant cat thing into the opposite wall, where it simply vanished. "Dana! Are you all right?"

She was not. Her head tilted at an unnatural angle and her throat was torn open. Blood gushed onto the floor.

But before I could start to process that, everything just...stopped. I couldn't move. I was frozen in place, held by an unseen force. The blood stopped gushing, drops hanging in midair. From the corner of my eye, I saw Isis and her kitten just...motionless, like cat statues.

A disembodied voice, human but oddly mechanical, said, "Game halted. Your progress was saved at the point you entered the parking lot. Would you care to restart there, or earlier in the story?"

Dana began to laugh.

I wished I could gape, but my mouth was stuck in the shocked grimace I'd had when I realized she was dead. But...now she wasn't? Was she a practitioner or a sorceress or something? "Why...?" I managed to croak from my clenched teeth.

The veterinarian, if that's what she was, stood. The blood simply vanished, as did the wound in her neck. "Well," she said, fixing her ponytail. "That was a little too realistic. But awesome. I think we'll resume at the parking lot."

"What...?" I rasped out.

Dana grinned at me. "Well, I'm not supposed to break the fourth wall, Harry, but since you're not real..."

What? I felt my heart stop beating.

"We're in outer space, and this is a very elaborate, and very cool simulation. You watched Star Trek, right? It's like the holodeck, but much, much better."

"Ack," I managed.

"I read all the books and stories about you back on Earth," she continued. "This program creates a story based on that, and you get to participate as a new character. I'm a veterinarian in real life, so it incorporated my skill set into the story. Pretty amazing, isn't it?"

Cold, existential dread flooded my brain. My virtual brain.

"Dr. Halliday," said the mechanical voice. "It is not recommended to interact with the characters in this way. The effects on AI-generated virtual entities is not entirely understood."

Dana shrugged. "Like the wizard said, could versus should. Let's start over, and I promise I'll stop taunting the hologram." She winked at me. "I was never much of a gamer on Earth, but I could get addicted to this. I wonder if they can do Tolkien or Pratchett, or..."

She waved a hand, prattling on, but it seemed I couldn't even think anymore. Then everything just went black...

* * *

...Dana screeched around another group of cats—just store-brand tabbies, nothing supernatural—as we turned into the empty parking lot of the research lab. "Okay, we're here."

"Run ahead of me," I said. "I'll cover you. I think there are more on the way."

But I faltered as I opened the door. Something wasn't right. I felt like we'd done this before. Maybe a lot.

"Harry!" Dana yelled. "Little help here?"

I shook my head and ran after her. Deja vu, I decided. What bad timing.