His Worth | MxM

² five

I shake my head, a little annoyed that he'd suggest such a thing.

I don't...I don't need a psychologist. There's nothing wrong with me, I just have a lot on my plate right now. Who wouldn't be stressed from this?

I've already talked everything over with Nate, I don't feel comfortable recounting it to a psychologist. I'm about to recount all of that shit again on live television since it's being broadcasted for how big this has become.

The whole country, if not the whole world, will hear what I've been through. They will hear my trauma and know my trauma. That will be with me and constantly be reminded to me again and again.

What the hell will a psychologist do?!

"No." I shook my head quickly, trying to control my breathing. "I need to go to class, but no. I'm not doing that."

"But you really should, you're suffering Worth-."

"You don't know me enough to be saying that."

"I don't need to know you to know that you've been through hell and back. You...scream pain and suffering, without even saying a word." Claire tells me softly.

I just look away from him, shaking my head as I rush to class.

In walking away, I entered into class silently. Not bothering to engage with any of my classmates like I once bothered to do before.

I ignored them...even if it came off rude.

Most of them are lucky I don't report them. Would the dean even do anything in the first place?

Everyone already knows...so wouldn't they ridicule for me for having even entered into that party anyway? Wouldn't they judge me for almost falling into that trap instead of trying to help me?

When I sit down at the spot I usually sit at, I noticed how awkward everyone was being. They almost seemed afraid to even look in my eyes. Their guilt or...nerves were showing. They're more afraid of what I'll say and what I can do.

Before, all they wanted to do was be my friend and be in my business. Now they can't even look at me without looking like they saw a ghost.

And it's their fault. 

"Hey..."

I look, seeing the dude who welcomed me into that party and who invited me, stand beside at the seat he usually sat in. His eyes diverting some as if he still held fear towards the situation. Or fear towards if I'd eat them all out.

"What do you want?" I question him sharply, seeing his nerves almost skyrocket. "You have a lot of nerve coming up to me after what you all tried to do. You especially, since you invited me."

I stood up now, glaring down at him as he stepped back some. That look of fear in his eyes...almost gratifying to see because I wanted him to be scared.

I...want them all to be scared of me.

Like in the prison. Everyone respected me and yet feared me, I want that here. Except this is the real world and fear doesn't help you in any aspect. I still want it because it protects me.

"I'm sorry... I thought-."

"You thought nothing but stupid things. You knew I had a child and was with someone I loved. How dare you?" I sneer in his face.

I saw his eyes flicker around as if he hoped someone would come to his defense, but I knew no one would. There was one thing I realized about the real world.

Everyone is coward.

They all would rather watch, and there is the rare few who will truly do something about it. I'm fully aware that in my class, they're all cowards. No one will be helping him.