From the perfect start

Chapter 44- Breaking all those bones

Stop, Ally. You're not even together. Not even close.

But he came...

"What are you waiting for? You don't want to go home? I can't wait until I can take off my makeup, lie in those absolutely godsend satin sheets Adaeze's mom bought for me, and gossip about those idiots in there," Em says, sitting in front of Harvey on his bike, his hands on her thighs.

"Actually, you can already drive. I'll come in a few minutes. I just want to breathe some fresh air for another moment. I miss the oxygen other than New York's. Real oxygen. I never expected to miss the smell of cow dung," I say.

"Okay, well, call me before you get on your way," she replies.

"Okay, I'm going to wait for you. Should I leave you alone?" Kaden asks me, his voice devoid of annoyance at waiting.

"No, I promise I won't take long. You want to take a walk?" I ask.

"Sure, why not. Then, till later, guys," Kaden says to Ray, Harvey, and Oliver, giving each of them a bro hug.

When Ray, Adaeze, Harvey, and Em drive off, and Oliver and Eshima get ready, I speak up to them for the first time today.

"I missed you two," I breathe out, my voice starting to shake. I clear my throat, emotions swimming in their eyes.

"I just... I mean, Eshima, we only met a few times, but I really like you, and it was hard not talking to you the last couple of weeks. And Ollie... I love you, and we really haven't seen much of each other." A tear slides over my cheek, and before I can continue, they both get off the bike and hug me.

"I love you, Aleandra. More than you'll ever know," Oliver whispers into my ear. I have to pinch my eyelids tightly together, holding my breath so I don't break into tears.

Remember, if you don't want to feel things, never return to the place that caged you, because you can only get free once; the second time, they will expect it and make sure you rot there.

The next few minutes, I thank them countless times for coming, arrange dinner plans, and Eshima promises to send me all of her favorite Taylor Swift songs. When they leave, another weight lifts from my heart.

I watch them as they disappear down the street.

"Do you want to walk around or just sit here for a moment? I didn't want to leave you alone here, especially when those bastards are in there. But I want you to have your space if you need it," Kaden says, his voice uncertain, making me huff out a laugh.

How can the most confident man I've ever met get such a shaky voice when he doesn't have the conversations we've planned in his head? I turn around and lay my face between my palms, looking at him in awe.

"No, please stay, Kaden," he smiles at my words. He grabs the seam of his pants on his thighs, then sits down on the pavement. He takes my hand carefully, and I sit down on his jacket, laid out under me.

"Thank you," I say, barely a whisper on my lips.

"No problem," he replies, studying me as if he wants to make sure I'm comfortable.

He takes something out of his pocket.

"The reason why I came."

"What, where did you have my arthritis shots from? I took them with me."

"I bought them. Don't ask me if that was legal, you won't like the answer. But I knew which one you have so and you didn't reply my texts so I didn't know if you used them." He explains, fiddeling with his fingers.

I let out a breath. "Shit, yeah I forgot, but there is still a little time window. Thank you so much. I owe you."

"You don't owe me shit, for not letting you suffer in pain. I need my project partner. We have to help those kids, remember. Can't let you die on me." He tries to lighten up the mood, the little smile on his lips, melting my heart. He looks up at me to silently ask me for permission as he removes the cap of the needle, the yellow liquid already seeping from the top.

I nod and and pull up my t-shirt to show him my naked stomach. His expression of concentration distracts me from the slight burn and then it's done. He dsinfected the spot again and puts my t shirt back into place.

"Thank you so much."

He doesn't reply, just puts the thign away and sits hismelf down next to me.

"Kaden?"

"Huh?" He looks up into my eyes.

"I didn't drink a sip tonight. You know, those side effects. Not worth it," I wink at him, voicing the irony in that sentence.

A soft smile brushes the corner of his lips as he reaches for my face to brush away a strand of hair with his index finger. But in the middle of the process, he pulls his hand back and looks away.

"I'm proud of you," I close my eyes, letting his words sink in.

"I'm trying."

"I know, Ally. If someone in the world is trying, it's you."

There is a sense of relief inside me when I quickly get distracted by a door being angrily shut down in the distance behind us. I realize Kaden hasn't even noticed and is still just looking at his hands while I'm frantically searching for the noise's source.

"Wait here for a moment, please. I'll be back in a second."

He looks at me questioningly. "Are you sure?"

"Yup, just a moment," I reply, pursing my lips as I stand up and walk toward the noise. I start to jog back to the house, feeling a strange pull forcing me back. I round the house and, as I walk around the corner, I halt in my tracks.

"No, you're not welcome here. You fucking asshole scared away Harrison and Wilson. That could've changed my life, you motherfucker," another guy yells through the closed door, with the blonde one standing in front.

"Fuck you," he yells back, but when he turns to walk away, he sees me and stands still.

"You're back?" He glares at me, flashing me a look of disgust.

"Just wanted to see where that noise was coming from," I lie because even though that feeling before telling him what I think was freeing, I'm still not done. Why can't I just get over these people, this family, this goddamn village?

"Well, fuck off. You already ruined my night. You won, okay? Let me in fucking peace. You were so much more fun in high school anyway. When did you become such a disgusting, embarrassing feminist slut?" He huffs out, wanting to walk past me, but I wrap one hand around his arm to keep him here.

"I didn't become anything, you little piece of shit. But I'm glad you know so much about me after not seeing each other for two years." I slap my hands on my thighs and grip them hard to keep from punching him.

"Well, I didn't say it inside, but I kept tabs on you too. You were one of my favorite girls back then, and everyone knew it. And I saw the activist shit you post on Instagram, the demonstrations you go to, the lectures you attend. You were so much fun. Where did my fun Ally go, huh? Not so strong now when your protectors are gone?" He spits at me, taking a step closer to me and towering over my frame.

"The 'fun' version you remember from high school was a goddamn walking corpse. I was dead, the times I woke up in that house, not remembering shit. And I was always a feminist. I was just so fucking drunk, brainwashed, sad, and desperate for a family that I pretended not to listen when you made your little rape jokes, when you talked about porn and prostitution as if it doesn't destroy human beings." I take a step forward, being so close now that he has to back up a little. My anger, rising in my veins, my shadow seeing my own father in me.

Have you ever felt the pain of seeing the person you hate the most in the world inside your own actions? No, well it is the equivalent of every bone breaking in your body, and everyone telling you to stand up and walk to them.