STORY OF THE CHUBBY

STORY OF THE CHUBBY 42

Alex was okay. Alex was okay.

I repeated this in my head for about a million times, trying to chase away the panic and grief that had been with me for the past hour.

What happened was that Alex had passed out as she was on her way to the bathroom. Mum and Dad rushed her to the hospital when they realized her pulse was really weak. When they got to the hospital, Alex had been rushed to the emergency room and had almost flat lined. It was at this moment that my mum was calling me so...yeah, I understood her reaction.

I don't think I have ever been afraid in my whole entire life. During the car ride to the hospital, I felt numb. Chris had held my hand during most of the ride but I don't think I had really gotten the comfort that was intended. It was there, but my mind couldn't comprehend anything else apart from Alex.

No matter how people say that it's easier if you know someone's dying; that it's 'better' than not knowing...the pain will still be the same. The agony one goes through during the period before one passes...everything...there's really nothing 'better'. There's no 'better' way.

'Here.'

I turned to look at Chris who was holding out a cup of coffee for me, another one in his hand for himself. I smiled at him as a way to say thank you and continued to gaze at the night.

'Beautiful, isn't it?' He said, talking about the full moon that was out tonight. We were seated at a bench outside the hospital. It was a little chilly, but Chris' coat was warm. Alex was asleep and the doctor said she would be for a while but we'd all gone to see her. Mum and Dad first then Chris and I. At the moment, Mum and Dad were in her hospital room so I decided I'd sit out and get some air. Chris had decided to get us both coffees if we were going to sit outside.

'Yea,' I replied my voice a little off. I had cried a little; out of relief and grief. Grief because I knew that time was drawing nearer.

Chris put his arm around my shoulders and hugged me to him and I rested my head on his chest. I inhaled him as he kissed my hair, and I felt a little better. He was here.

'Alex is tough, Cecilia. She's fighting hard to be here a little longer,' Chris said softly.

I nodded, 'She is. She really is.' I buried my face into his chest. 'God, Chris...It hurts so much!'

'I know, I know,' he whispered, running his hand on my back in comfort. 'But remember what I said? Live in the moment. Not in the pain. Spend the few days she has in happiness, not in tears. Alright?'

I nodded, sitting up and wiping at my tears.

'Now where's that smile I love?' He said, giving me a small smile, his hand on my chin.

I gave him a watery smile, laughing a little bit. 'Thank you.'

'Don't thank me. I want to be here...for you,' he said. 'Now drink your coffee before it gets cold.'

What was the use in denying my feelings any longer? I was completely, utterly in love with this boy. All he had to do was be himself and I was a goner. He didn't even have to try. There. I had finally come clean with myself. Confessing it to him...now that was an entirely different matter. For now... I'd have to keep it to myself.

'I have to go,' Chris said about an hour later when his phone had buzzed with a text. 'The twins are at our neighbours and my parents still aren't home.'

'Your sister?'

'At some slumber party,' he sighed, pocketing his phone. 'I hate to just leave you.' He looked really sad that he was leaving.