What Are You Waiting For

Forever

JJ's POV

After the fight with me and Spencer I don't know what to do. I'm lost without him. He is my light in the dark. He is my rock. He is my best friend. He is my other half. He is my fiancé, or was at least. He is my laugh. He is what makes me want to keep going in life. But now I might as well kill myself. I can't go on without him here with me. I have to admit before we got together I was cutting and drinking. But when he showed up, he was the perfect man and I knew right then and there I had to stop harming myself. Because if I didn't I wouldn't have all these great memories. But if I didn't I wouldn't be here today and in this mess!

I crawl up the stairs and tell Henry to go to bed. It was 8:00 so it was his bedtime anyways. After I read him his favourite story 'Bedtime Babystar' I walk down the hall and into the room that Spencer and I used to 'play' around in. I crawl underneath the comforter and try to fall asleep.

*1 hour later*
After an hour of lying on my back staring at the ceiling I roll onto my side and grab Spencer's pillow. It smells just like him. All the memories of us flood through my mind. I feel something wet drop onto my shirt. I know its a tear but I don't bother wiping away the river that's making its way down my cheeks.

I just wish that I could go back in time and stop myself from saying that stupid comment I made. It's all my fault. If I hadn't of said those five words he would still be here. We could have been snuggling and laughing but I had to ruin everything. I might as well run away. No one wants me here anyways so I won't be hurting anyone.

Henry. I'd be hurting Henry. He loves his second family! He would be lost without them. Henry probably doesn't even know what's going on. He'll be wondering where Spence is tomorrow, and I'll have to lie to him. I'll have to lie to my own son. I never thought I'd have to lie to my own son. That makes me sick to the stomach.

After hours on end of thinking about how my life will change without Spencer, I finally fall asleep.

*The Next Day At Work*
I walk through the doors of the BAU. I walk straight to Hotch's office. I knock and he tells me to enter.
"Is there a case today JJ?" He asks me still looking down at the files in front of him.
"I don't know Sir." I say hoping he won't look up at me.
"What do you mean? Is everything alright JJ?" Hotch asks looking up from his files.
"Hotch, before I tell you I want you guys to know that I love you all and that I just need some time to sort things out."
"JJ what's going on?" He asks in a softer and more concerned tone.
I remove my gun and badge from my waist and set it on his desk.
"I quit." I say and run out of his office.
"J-" Garcia starts but I run to the stairs before she can finish.
My eyes start to water and my nose starts running. I push open the door and take one last look at my confused family before I turn and leave the Behavioral Analysis Unit forever.

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Hate away! I know you guys want to kill me but I couldn't resist!! I'm evil!😈 Anyways I will try to update soon! Bye!