Only Fate

quatorze

I still can't believe I found people who are willing to be friends with me. Even though I had Ambar and Matias back at Westview I didn't have close friends like Cleo, Emory and me. That was clearly a blessing. With that I feel like I'm almost free of my past. I'm only haunted by memories, not current situations. I don't have to be scared of getting late at home or buying booze for my dad. I'm free. Clean

"Earth to Delilah," Cleo says and I snap out of my trance

" Yeah what's up," I ask her smiling

"Do you want us to do your hair too," Emory asks and I nod

...

I finish my sandwich and head to my room to see some boys in the common room playing some video games so I decide to just go back to my room. We make eye contact except I break it first and take out my diary after I close the curtain. Not a single word was shared

"Delilah," he says and I hum

"yes," I answer unaware about what was he gonna ask next

"Just forget it," he says and I frown not knowing how to respond so I made my way into the bathroom to change.

"Delilah I want to ask you something," he says and I answer

"Yeah," I say and what he said broke my heart to pieces

"Would it be fine if we just stop hanging out, I see you're uncomfortable and to be honest so am I," I say feeling a tear staining my face

"Oh," I say and I cover my mouth trying to drown out any sound that may come out. Out of all the hits I've received this was the deepest and the one that most hurt. "Ok, if that's what you want." I say feeling tears stream down my cheek. Not to be dramatic but once in my life he used to be my favorite person along with my dad but oh my how things have changed.

"It is," he says and I figure out I've lost the last Delcourt in my life.

"Okay," I say, staying in the bathroom frozen not knowing how to digest the words he just asked me to.

I don't think I'm capable of being in the same room as him anymore. I feel suffocated, unable to breathe. I'm feeling a lot of shit and I can feel them in the open but I don't want to feel them around him. I don't want to be around him anymore. I don't know if I can manage it. Feeling so much love and resentment at the same time.

"I'm gonna take Daisy for a walk," I say trying to not to sound sad

"Okay," he simply says and I don't know what's worse, reuniting with him just to tell me he doesn't want to see me or not seeing him again for five more years. As I'm walking and crying at the same time I miss my mom. I miss being able to talk to my mom. I miss her too much and then I start to feel anger because who is capable of leaving their child. One thought led to another and then it finally reached the worst thoughts an Emerson always has. 'I need a drink'.I ignore the urge and continue walking with Daisy until I accidentally reach a building I haven't been in before so I decide to walk in even though it was dark and to be honest kind of creepy. It was a trophy room. I oversaw all the trophies until one caught my eye. First place Ice skating state competition 1997 Aria James, second place Ice skating skate competition Aurelia Rosewood and third place Chiara Delcourt. Underneath the trophies there was a photo of both my mom and Logan's hugging while Aria was smiling, putting her arms around them. I notice how much I look like my mom. Almost a spitting image if you must say, but that didn't catch my eye. The necklace Aria was wearing did. It was a rose. Almost the same one Chiara had gifted me for my eighteenth birthday.

They looked so alike it was worrying. Did our mothers meet here at Leighton and if they did why did they lie about it. If I remember correctly they told us they met in college and why Aria acted as if she didn't know me when I looked exactly like my mom. We looked like sisters and since this photo must have been taken at the same age I'm now I started to get... suspicious? I wonder what happened between them and why didn't they ever mention Aria. I take a photo of the photo and escape out of there getting out with more questions I had when I got in. How did they meet? Why didn't she ask about me? Is it anything else she's hiding?