The Third

Chapter 9 // 180 Degrees

The time dragged on, more slowly than I could've ever imagined. Just hours ago I had anticipated a phenomenon. A turnaround, 180 degrees. I thought that by meeting him, this horrid life would somehow get better. He brought a smile to my face, a beat to my heart, deepness to my breathing. I didn't know if it was just because he was a human, who cared; or if he really changed my life. All I knew is that he made everything better.

I was ready for a miracle. Whether it be escape, or something lesser like a protest. A movement. A revolution.

But I had no such luck. The only presence I had enjoyed since the takeover, was gone. How could someone this ordinary, this seemingly simple be so incredibly profound? The thought ate at my brain all day.

Meredith, the only sibling I'd ever had. Gone.

Mattaeus, the only one I'd established a real connection with. Gone.

My soul, the only thing I still had left. Gone.

Everything had receded, and the feeling of hope...was gone.

I slumped down onto my fading, wearing sheet...my bed of cold, dead earth. Every voice I'd ever heard sped through my had and continued slip away; I heard it all.

My one lone thought struck in the midst of hundreds of others. My familiarly frail voice separated itself, and it was all I heard. "If there is no hope, life has no purpose."

If there is no hope, life has no purpose.

No hope, no purpose.

No purpose.

No purpose.

Voices and thoughts and reasons and doubts raced through my mind again, faster now, spinning like a tornado. My head began to throb; I felt crazy.

I faced the pain in my legs, my core, my heart, and my brain as I stood to my feet.

Slowly shuffling towards the opposite end of my zone, speeding up slightly with every small step.

I kept my eyes fixed on the top of the fence. With the thought of sweet freedom in my head, my legs moved faster, faster. I was running.

I approached the fence and the tips of the barbed wire gleamed in the sun; the volts of electricity hissed as if microscopic angry rattlesnakes were nestled in its metal chasms.

My legs shook beneath me, but I wasn't turning back.

I made my way, slowly, to the base of the metal structure.

Baby steps. Inch by inch. Little by little.

The rattlesnakes hissing sounds grew louder as did the voices inside my head.

"Don't do it!" They say, "You'd regret it if you could!"

Nothing had the power and control to turn me around.

My body was a one way train to anywhere but there. Prepared to barrel through any obstacles, tear through the barriers that kept me from life. Real life.

But I suppose, that day, life wasn't what I truly wanted. I wanted company. I wanted to not be alone.

But sometimes you don't get what you want. Sometimes life doesn't work out exactly how you planned it. Or at all how you planned it.

And sometimes there's only one way out.

And when you've made up your mind to let yourself out of that horrid life you lead, there's no turning back.

So looking up at the sharp silver barbs, and the blue electric power, I began to climb.