Accismus⋆౨ৎ˚⟡.• Anakin Skywalker⋆౨ৎ˚⟡.•

72.

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Padme had put together some shorts and a shirt that Sol could feel comfortable in. The weather was warm, so she ensured that she had chosen a thin material that Sol could feel cool in. As C3-PO passed her to head into the wardrobe with a tray of tea, Anakin stepped aside to allow the droid to descend towards their bedroom. At his entrance, Padme turned from the laid-out clothes on her bed to the Jedi whose brow was low over his eyes.

'Ani, are you alright?' Padme asked, her concern evident in the wrinkles on her usually smooth forehead.

'I wish I could say...'

Anakin stopped in front of the window of Padme's bedroom. He remembered when Obi-wan leapt through the blinds and glass to try and stop the assassin droid from escaping after the attempted murder of the senator. As he stared out into the city, Padme folded the clothes and held them in her hands as she stared at the back of Anakin's head. She felt his concerns without the ability to look into the Force, as Anakin's troubled thoughts hung over him like a grey cloud. Anakin was her friend as much as Sol was, and with the attack, Padme was worried that Anakin wasn't taking the event well.

'Is it about Sol? I'll take care of her. I was dismissed from work today, so I'll make sure she's comfortable.'

'It's not that...' Anakin's head lowered from the window and his broad shoulders rose and fell at a long breath. 'I don't know... I feel... lost.'

'Lost?' Padme repeated as she stepped closer. 'What do you mean? You're always so sure of yourself, and Sol says how confident you always are. I don't understand.' 

Padme watched as Anakin turned to face her. For the first time since he arrived, Padme noticed the dark lines that indented underneath Anakin's eyes. He looked tired and his lips were pulled into a deep frown. The bright blue in his irises were now a dull stone that Padme didn't favour to see. She remembered when she first met Anakin in Watto's workshop on Tatooine and was amazed at how a young boy could be so hopeful as a slave with his mother. Padme always admired Anakin's will to challenge situations, and to be confident even when times were tough. But now, Anakin was unhappy, and Padme didn't see his usual determination to see the good in the situation.

'Something's happening,' Anakin said, and Padme saw anguish flash across his face. 'I'm not the Jedi I should be... I am one of the most powerful Jedi, but I'm not satisfied.' 

Anakin's expression changed from anguish to an angered frustration. Padme was wary and took a step backwards, clutching the folded clothes in her arms. She didn't like to think that Anakin was unpredictable, but she knew that he would never do something that would require Padme to call for Captain Typho. He was her bodyguard on Naboo along with Sol, and his obvious infatuation with the female Jedi was something that Padme found adorable in their Padawan days. But using her instincts as a politician who has had a handful of assassination attempts on her life, Padme felt uneasy in Anakin's presence. 

'I want more, and I know I shouldn't...' Anakin looked down and Padme caught the shame that replaced his frustration.

'You expect too much of yourself, Ani,' Padme said. 'You know that Sol and Obi-wan are proud of what you have accomplished.' 

'But I... I have so much fear. After today, when I saw Solaris like that... something came over me. It's happened before. This power suddenly runs through me and... the Chancellor spoke of this power and I just... I just don't want to lose her. What if this new power... could stop people from dying? From her, from ever dying?'

At the mention of Chancellor Palpatine, Padme knew that Anakin was falling into his delusions. She knew about Anakin's promotion onto the Council as the Chancellor's representative, and she had a firsthand experience of the executive powers that the man had gained from the Senate. Padme knew that the Chancellor made many false promises that could never be obtained, and she thought this was another promise that he had directed towards Anakin to earn his trust.