An Attempt to Find Myself

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"What am I without medication?

Who am I without it? Am I still me?"

These are just some of the burning questions

Whose answers I really have yet to see


It breaks my heart to know that I'm useless;

Without medication, I'm paralyzed

I know it can get me out of this mess

But life with it is not idealized


Have I mentioned that I bother people

Every time I fail to handle my own

Though I try, my efforts aren't ample

I know I couldn't make it out alone


But I can't let it define who I am

For I am not a disorder myself

I have disorders, and that's not a sham

But I'll keep them sitting atop the shelf


I cannot let this thing control me more

I am tired of being its slave for long

I'll do what it takes to get me ashore

And hopefully this time, I won't be wrong.

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