Eyes Everywhere

First comes chaos then comes order

"I killed him" I whisper
"Rey don't do that to yourself. That wasn't George. That was someone else" he tried to comfort me but nothing in that moment could help me.

"It doesn't matter I killed him. You, him, and I were siblings. He was my brother. We spent a whole month here together. And I killed him in less than a second."  I paused before saying

"He said this was my fault, he said I did this all."

"Reyna I need you to listen to me. We knew this was a possibility. We knew death would come at some point. It is not your fault. the people who put us here, They did this to him not you. This is not your fault. You did what you had to do to protect the rest of us. What you did was something I don't think any of us could have done. Not even me" He said

He hugged me before I said
"I want to kill them, for every bit of pain they have caused me" looking him in the eye
"I know." Is all he could say
" I'm so sorry alby" I say as a hug him again.

"Let's go get some rest we will need it" alby says
I nod
I walk towards my room and pass George's room. I stop for a second looking inside before finally going into my room and lying down.

I didn't sleep at all. Every time I closed my eyes I see him. I see myself killing him. I got up and walk around the glade some to try and clear my mind.

The sun starts to come up and everyone slowly wakes up.
I look over to the doors and see the names on the wall.

I walk over and look at George's name.

After a minute I grab my knife and put a X over his name.
"I'm giving everyone the day off. They are all panicking." He said

I nodded not looking away from his name
"Rey,  he will always be with us. He might not be standing next to you but he is here. Always remember that" he says
"I will" I say with a small smile turning to face him.

When alby said people were panicking I didn't think he meant this.

People started to ask questions. A lot of questions that I didn't even have answers for.

They would ask if we were ever going to get out of here. What if we were out here just to die. Why not just die now and get it over with.

It was getting way out of hand.

We tried our best to calm them down but no one was listening. And the worst part was people started running into the maze. They gave up and didn't want to try anymore.  All of the keepers had to stand in front of the doors to keep people from going out.

There were boys who killed themself over panic. Right in front of us. And i couldn't do anything to stop it. The doors and we tried our best to calm everyone down again. After a while it finally worked and we talked and came up with 3 rules.

1. Never harm another glader, none of this works without trust
2. Everyone does there job, no slacking
3. Never go past the doors unless your a runner

Everyone was still panicked but they understood.
While talking I counted everyone we had. We lost more than half of us here.

At the end of the night when everyone went off the sleep alby and I marked the names off the wall.

We marked to many off for one day. To many boys lost their life, and I couldn't do anything about it.

Alby and I stayed up all night.
Maybe it was because we couldn't sleep but we also knew we had to get this place in order to keep people alive.
By the time we finished it was already morning.

We spent next few days we building up more. Putting things in order.

I had a talk with alby after everything calmed down. I told him I couldn't be a leader with him anymore. I want to help him, I want to be by his side but I can't do that and be out in the maze looking for a way out everyday.
He understood my reasoning agreed. I told him to make newt second in command. Which is gladly agreed with me.

I voted Minho as keeper of the runners. I know it sounds confusing considering I gave up my leader role to be a runner, so why wouldn't I be the keeper of the runners?
I did it because people need someone they can rely on. Someone who follows the orders, gets back on time. And that just wasn't me, I wanted to spend every minute I could out there looking for anything that could get us out.

But alby did say I would still be in every meeting we had. He said it was because I have a different perspective than everyone and honestly it is true. No one here thinks like I do.

Everything was finally at peace. Well as peaceful as it could get with a bunch of boys.

I had changed tho. With everything that happened I couldn't be my old self anymore.
I couldn't be the funny sarcastic girl everyone knew.
I only talked to alby Minho and newt.
They were the only ones who brought my old self back out.

I gave up my room in the homestead even tho alby said I could keep it because I was the "only girl". But I honestly didn't want to keep it. It reminded me to much of George.

I set up a hammock outside away from where everyone sleeps. Hanging on the trees. I built myself a small shack also where all my clothes and stuff go but I didn't sleep in there.
I liked to sleep outside where I could see the stars as I drift off the sleep.

The map has gotten a lot bigger. And I'm starting to wonder if there even is an exit but I have to keep hope. For everyone. For George. And maybe for myself.

I lay down and fall asleep wondering if we will ever get out of this shit hole.