In The Grave But Still Alive

Falling

I walked half way in the yard and could smell the alcohol and boy was it pungent. I didn't want to walk inside out of fear as of what is to come. I made my way through the door and was immediately met with Russ wobbling on his feet. You could see his eyes were dark and psychotic. All in one swoop he lunged and grabbed me by my throat pushing me against the wall to where my toes barely touched the ground. I gasped as much as I could trying to scream. Like I would do any good. "Please...stop..." i squeaked out "you ungrateful fucking whore!!!! You deserve death you fucking pig!" Russ screamed out as he yanked me in the direction of the leaving room and tossed me to the floor before coming to stand over me. I had my eyes tightly shut as I I feared what was to happen next. All of a sudden I felt the kicks to my stomach 1, 2, 3, 4 and the fifth was one swift kick to my face. I felt the blood gush from my mouth and nose.

I laid there curling tighter into myself as I can hear the rattling of the cans and bottles as Russ walked away the last thing I heard was the front door open and slam shut. I screamed out and tried to get myself off the floor. Eventually I made my way into my bedroom. As quickly as I could I packed my tote bag with clothes and all my make up. Shockingly I got to my bathroom and stripped my clothes off and tossed them in the basket. I turned the shower knob as hot as it would go and got in. I sat there on the shower floor rocking. After some time I managed to wash my body and my hair, once I was finished I turned the shower off and stepped out wrapping my towel around me making my way back to my room. I found w pair of biker shorts and my oversized cropped slipknot shirt and pulled it over my head. I grabbed my vans and placed them on my feet.
I hesitated near my bedroom door before dashing out my window. It would be water if I went this way just in case. I pulled out a cigarette with my hands shaking I lit it and puffed on it before I pulled my phone out. Now the real question was who the fuck do I call. Before I did so I wanted to send Vinny a message.

"Hey sweetness! I really miss you and hope you come back from your trip very soon. I need you! <3- Mo"

My phone immediately pinged back and I looked down to see the message as I inhaled more of my cigarette. It read:

"Hey MoMo, I come back tonight I land at the airport around 5pm!!! I'll see you at Ricky's!!"

I smiled slightly and let out a sigh of relief. That answered my next question where do I go after who do I call... I pondered on if not I would be a burden if stayed with one of the guys? Stuck in a tough spot I decided not to call anyways and just started walking. By this time every time I blinked It hurt terribly. I could only imagine how I looked..

As I made the long 30 minute journey to Ricky's apartment I cried every now and again as the events played through my head. I know Russ is hard to deal with but I just I know why I thought this wouldn't happen when it's happened so many time before. I stopped for a second to breath as I was in front of his apartment. I looked up at this front door and turned around to sit myself on the curb and pulled out yet another cigarette. I inhaled the smoke and let my head fall between my hands for a minute as I tried my best to calm myself down. I felt a hand on my shoulder all of a sudden. I looked up and couldn't help but bust out in sobs.

{ Chris's POV }

Once we finished jamming with Justin it was honestly refreshing. It fit like a puzzle piece we didn't know we were missing. Okay well we knew we needed a bassist but like still. Dude can fucking shred. We all lounged on the couch making small talk and letting him know about Vinny when sidedly I just kept thinking about Mo. I had to say something to the guys. I cleared my throat "Guys... uhm I kinda love her, she's different and hides a lot but guys when she kissed me earlier.. I felt it. It was like everything in the world stood still and was just left with passion." I huffed at the end and just sat there looking at them.  "She's got a knack for kissing I tell you that but, are you sure you want to go down that road with her?" Ricky spoke out after my small speech. I nodded my head as I bit my lip. Ryan talked soon after Ricky did "Dude where is Mo? She never misses practice.. did she walk our back for a cig?!" At this point we all flew to our feet running to the back exit. Justin pushed the door open and it was empty... She usually tells us bye and gives all hugs if she has to leave.. what happened? "She left without saying goodbye to us?" Ricky said quietly, it seems he's upset about it too. "Somebody call or something! I don't have a good feeling about this." I growled out and pushed my fingers through my hair. The next thing I notice Justin is pulling his phone out and soon puts the phone to his ear. "Bad news.. it went straight to voicemail..." ah shit. No. No. No. "let's just head to Ricky's it's late and Vinny is coming in-" i look down to my watch for the time "30 minutes, so we can re group and try texting her or something. Fuck! This would be helpful if I knew where she lived!!!" I huffed and walked back inside to grab all our shit so we can get out of here. I felt Ryan place his hand on my shoulder "You know Mo, she's a wild card but she's strong. We will get in touch with her don't worry man. It's gonna be alright." He spoke softly to me. I nodded my head and we all left the studio locking the door behind us and making our way to Ricky's appointment.