The Path To You

51. My boyfriend

And now I didn't just see his smile, I could feel it as he pressed it against me.

I wanted to stay in the moment forever. I wanted to bottle up every ounce of Jetson's happiness so that I'd never lose it. I wanted to make his face light up like this every day.

"I believe I was promised a ride." He said pressing another kiss to my neck.

I didn't let myself panic. This was something I wanted. This last thing I could give to Jetson. I'd let my own ugly thoughts twist myself up. I'd seen someone putting their hand on Jetson and without a real promise between us I hadn't been able to handle it. I'd needed to make him mine, to make sure that he knew I was willing to be his.

I'd had sex. I'd done it with Jetson but still there was a piece of myself I held tight. Something I thought I'd lost years ago but I'd fought hard and now I wanted to give it to Jetson.

Jetson who I trusted more than anyone else.

He must have taken my silence as hesitancy. Jet tried to pull away and the coldness I felt without him close felt like cleaving my heart in two.

I wanted to do this because I wanted to. I didn't want to do this because I thought Jetson did. I wanted to give myself a little piece of me back.

"We don't-,"

"I want to. I want to as long as you do," I cut him off.

"Yes, I want to." He nodded.

Hearing those words was good enough for me. It relieved some of the anxiety from me. I didn't want to be him, I could never let myself be anything like him. I needed to know that this was different.

This was love.

When I leaned forward and kissed Jetson I felt all that love right there where we connected. And with every touch against Jet's skin I found more. When I felt Jetsons hands on me I didn't even have the urge to flinch. Each touch was gentle and that love seeped right into my skin like warm sunlight.

It was all at our own pace. The slow exploration of each other. The way my hands swept across his skin like it was the first time. I wanted to trace every curve, every inch of his skin. I wanted to show my love in every way I could.

I didn't always know what words to use but as I trailed my lips across Jet's jaw I hoped all the words I couldn't say inked across his skin. I wanted him to know how I felt, I wanted him to see himself the way I saw him. I wanted to paint the picture so that he never had to doubt what this was.

I didn't even hesitate as my lips reached the skin still covered by clothes. I pushed the shirt right up his body wanting skin on skin. Jetson threw it off of him and pulled me right back against him not wanting to be apart for too long.

I was in heaven. This was what heaven was.

Emotions rushed through me. It was world shattering this feeling in me. The way his hand felt against me. I felt safe, I felt something I never thought I'd ever feel. I didn't think I'd ever get used to that. To being here and still feeling like myself, feeling like I was in my own body.

"Connor." Jetson groaned as I pressed my lips against his skin.

I felt his hips grind up against me. As much as I wanted to stretch this out and keep exploring Jets body I knew he was getting worked up. We had time for patience and slow. It didn't have to happen today.

I leaned back and stripped my shirt off. I watched Jetsons eyes track across my chest. The way his gaze lingered a few extra seconds. One day I'd let him have his fun with my body. I'd have the strength to lay back and see what Jetson would do with that type of control.