Just My Luck {bungo stray dogs x oc}

Filler (ig?)

I had put on my headphones and was listening to some classical music while thinking about what Akutagawa had said. Why the hell would the Port Mafia want Atsushi back alive? As I lay on the couch at the Agency I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. It was Dazai.

"What do you want?" I asked, a bit aggressively, lifting one of the earpieces on my headphones. "Can we talk?" asked the brunette, signaling outside.  "Sure" I sighed, rising from the sofa and lazily dragging my converse along the floor, cat in arms and a grumpy expression on my face. Ever since the Akutagawa attack, my brain cells have been working nonstop to figure out the bounty mystery as well as researching other gifted organisations, which isn't easy by the way.

As we stepped outside Dazai's expression turned serious as he shoved his hands in his pockets and locked his deep brown eyes with my mismatching ones. 

"So you're just not gonna talk about it?" he asked a bit lazily as if he already knew the answer, which he did. "That's the plan..." I softly murmured in response as I gently placed Lucky on my shoulder and broke the eye contact before crossing my arms. "It's been a month, Neko-chan" he stated the obvious, a hint of worry in his voice as he tried to catch my eyes again but failed. "I don't see why we need to. He's dead and it was my fault, boohoo so sad" I said coldly, the words hurting me way more than they hurt Dazai.

 "But it wasn't your fault. You had just recently turned 12, you were a child. He walked into that building knowing full well what could happen to him and you couldn't stop him. Nothing you could do would've stopped him. He had his mind set on one goal, and he completed that goal. He rested knowing that he did what he wanted to do and-"

"How do you know!?" I yelled at him, interrupting him mid sentence. "You aren't Odasaku, you don't know what he wanted. You don't know if he wanted to survive that encounter or not. He never killed anybody in hopes that one day he could escape the Port Mafia and have a clean slate. I was right there. At the enterance of the building. I stopped you from entering, Dazai! If I had just let you through, if I had just thought a little more clearly instead of just doing what he told me, then maybe he would be here right now! So you can't say it wasn't my fault, because it was! It was, ok? And no amount of consolation or sympathy is going to change that. I, Nekori Kawakami, am the reason Sakunosuke Oda is dead, ok? I may not have killed him but he is dead because of me. So, just drop it, ok? Leave me alone"

As tears streamed down my face I hurriedly ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I broke down into tears, my cat rubbing me with his head, trying to console me but failing. I stayed in there for a long while, loosing sense of time and reality as I replayed the scenario that happened four years ago over and over in my head, each time my guilt and anger in myself growing. Oda is dead. And it was all my fault.

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Sorry for the short chapter but it's kinda important and don't worry if you don't get it all will be revealed soon enough. Thx for reading!

Tini-san out!