~Saylah~

Chapter 11

"Yea we're gonna go meet up with John B and Pope. Wanna come with?" JJ asked.

"I wish. I have to try and get at least another hour of sleep before Saylah wakes up." I said as I poured cereal in a bowl.

As if on cue, the baby monitor made static noises before Saylahs cry's came through.

I threw my head back and sighed.

"Never mind." I said as I slammed the cereal on the counter and went to go get her.

I opened the door and she was kicking in her crib.

"Good morning sweet girl." I said as I picked her up and shut the fan off.

"Well if you change your mind we'll be at the cove today alright?" JJ asked as he leaned on the door frame.

"Alright then. I'll let you know." I said as I walked back to the kitchen. "It was nice meeting you Gabby. Hopefully next time I see you I'm not mid mental break down." I told her as I poured milk into my cereal.

"It's totally ok. No judgement. I'm gonna go wait in the car." She said looking at JJ and he nodded.

"I like her." I said after she walked out.

"Yea she's cool. I don't know though." He said.

"What?" I asked scarfing my cereal before Saylah started to cry.

"Just don't think I'm feeling it. I mean she's cool and like, it's not that I don't like her just, doesn't feel right." He said.

"Well try not to break her heart. And use fucking condoms. Please." I sighed as Saylah started to fuss in my arms.

"Trust me I will. But call us if you need anything. We'll be surfing so we might not get it right away so Kie might be your best bet. But still." He said. "You ok though? Like seriously?" He asked.

"I'm still breathing. And so is she. That's all that matters." I said as he cracked his knuckles.

"You know you can talk to us right? Like any of us." He said.

"I don't wanna talk. I'm tired of talking and crying and bitching about my own mistakes... no offense Saylah. Just gonna do what I have to do." I told him honestly. We sat in silence for a moment before he nodded slowly.

"Alright. I'll see you later ok? I love you." He said. "Bye Saylah... your leaking by the way." He added as I looked down at my shirt to see that I was I fact leaking.

"Fuck." I sighed. "I love you to JJ. Have fun." I said putting my bowl in the sink as he left. I heard the door slam against its frame and then his truck pull out of the drive way.

"We're all by ourselves again." I said looking at Saylah. She looked up at me with curious eyes as I just took a second to prepare myself for another day. "Please don't give mommy a hard time today." I said knowing she didn't understand a word I was saying.

I sighed as she dug her face into my boobs and I knew she was hungry. I went to our room and grabbed my phone and charger. I saw that I had missed calls from JJ, probably telling me to open the door. I also had a missed call from my brother.

I grabbed my vape and my weed for later and went out to the living room. Then I went back and grabbed Saylah's pacifier, blanket, a few diapers and wipes, and figured if I needed anything else I'd just go back.

When I sat down, I started feeding her first. She instantly latched on and I leaned back thankful that for right now, she was chill.

I turned on the tv and Bubble Boy was on. It was obviously an amazing movie so I counted it as a win.

I decided to call Adrian back and see what he was doing.

I rang for a little and then he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey." I said.

"What's up?" He asked.

"I just saw that you called me. Was seeing what you needed." I told him as I glanced down at Saylah.

"Oh I wanted to see what you were doing today. You wanna hang out?" He asked.

"Yea I'm down. I'm just staying home though. Saylah's been cranky." I told him.

"That's cool. Can I come over now?" He asked and I heard shuffling.

"Yea. We don't have much food right now, just an fyi." I told him.

"I'll stop and grab something. What do you want?" He asked.

"If you go to the wreck Kie knows my order." I told him.

"Ok cool. I'll be there in a little bit alright?" He said.

"Ok bye." I said and he hung up.

Saylah had fallen back to sleep after eating so I decided to put her in the crib instead of her swing. I kept the baby monitor with me as I started to roll up after laying her down. I knew her she wouldn't be asleep for long and I needed some kind of motivation for the day.

About 20 minutes later, Adrian had pulled up with food in tow. That's when I decided to light the blunt knowing he'd probably want to smoke to.

"Hey sister." He said shutting the door quietly behind him.

"Hey brother." I said opening the window.

"Kie said she didn't know which side you wanted to I just got you fries." He told me as he set the food on the table and sat on the couch next to me.

"That's fine. Wanna hit?" I asked and he took it thankfully.

"So what's been going on? How's mom life?" He asked.

"Difficult. Tiring. Irritating." I sighed. "But it's not all bad. She's a good girl for the most part. It can be rewarding to. I mean she's only a month and a half but, little things matter right now." I told him honestly.

"How are you though?" He asked me passing the blunt back.

"I don't even know. It depends on the day." I said hitting the blunt.

Just then his phone dinged and he checked it.

"It's from JJ." He told me.

"What did he say?" I asked considering him and JJ barely had any real conversations.

"He said I should come hang out with you. Just to make sure your ok." He said and I rubbed my forehead. "What happened?" He asked not bothering to respond.

"Nothing to crazy. I think Saylah has colic. It's basically where she cry's for no good reason. I was super stressed last night and I ended up putting her in her crib and letting her scream it out. But I had a break down outside the door and ended up falling asleep on the floor. JJ found me this morning. Little before I called you." I told him passing the blunt back.

"You been sleeping?" He asked.

"As much as I can. I'm trying to get her in a sleep schedule but I can barely remember what day it is anymore." I told him. "Plus I start working again next week and I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do." I sighed.

"Why don't I watch her?" He said.

"You? Watch a newborn?" I questioned suspicious.

"I was moms full time babysitter before you came back to the island. I'm great with baby's. The twins loved me." He scoffed.

"The twins... how are they doing?" I asked him.

"They still live with they're dad. Mom and him are kind of on and off. Haven't seen the twins in a while though." He told me and I felt even shittier realizing I had completely forgotten about my sisters. "But I'm serious about the babysitting thing." He said as he ashed the blunt and pulled out our food.

"I think your my only option right now. I think if I can trust you with a drunk me and Kiara you'll do fine with a baby. It's basically the same thing." I shrugged and he laughed.

"Exactly." He said handing me my food.

The room got quiet when he both dug in, and then Saylah started crying again.

Yay...

(Hey y'all.... Don't hate me I'm sorry.)