How To Enslave an Empath

Preamble to the Twelve Step Program

As you glanced at the title of this page, perhaps you began trying to recall the twelve steps a recovering alcoholic learns at an AA meeting. Rest assured, that may come later if you are a survivor of narcissistic abuse. Alcohol abuse is just one side effect that often plagues one in mental captivity, because it creates the illusion of freedom.

Conversely, the twelve steps we are about to explore are an organic response to the desires that drive a predator and their prey. Here are the top four driving forces: (1) Greed, (2) Fear, (3) Guilt, and
(4) Obligation. Think about these concepts as colors that the predator, advertiser, or leader uses to paint their captive, customer, or apprentice into a corner. These motivational forces are the building blocks the predator will use to enslave their prey. By combining these forces in various ways a captor creates the twelve steps needed to maintain the most powerful force in their arsenal. This force is known simply as control. To a predator power or control is the greatest form of freedom, because it provides them with the freedom to exploit others.

Now, you may see yourself as an Empath. You may feel that you are not able to identify with the narcissistic nature of a predator. If so, then this is the book for you. Empaths often pride themselves in their ability to place themselves in another person's figurative shoes. They are naturally drawn to victims. And with all due respect, that is what makes an empathetic person so easy to enslave. Pride actually blinds the Empath to seeing what's happening until it's too late.

If you see this as a good versus evil scenario, then you will surely jump to the wrong conclusions, and you will actually become a weapon that a predator will use to enslave their next victim. Please do not quickly dismiss what you are reading. If you are looking for my qualifications, I invite you to read my three previous books. If you have read them, welcome to book four.

Who am I ? All I can say is, I am A. Father. And I have a message for all fathers out there. Try to be better. Not better than others,  just better. To do this you may need to go on a journey of self discovery. You may be riddled with insecurities about your ability to be enough. You may not openly admit this to yourself or anyone else. I'm here to tell you, I get it. You influence the life of your child if you stick around. I've got news for you. You also influence their life if you don't.

This book isn't directed at just fathers. It's for everyone, because everyone influences someone. It's impossible not to. People who slip into narcissistic abuse usually don't realize the impact their choices have on others. We may paint such individuals as villains in a story. I have observed that most people see themselves as Empaths. After all, who wants to be a villain?

In order to read this book correctly you must stop seeing yourself as an Empath, and have a Freaky Friday experience, by learning to think like...
I know. This may seem impossible, but keep reading and we will get there together.

Let's begin. Remember, you are no longer an Empath. You are now driven by fear, perhaps due to a traumatic childhood, or from being exploited in some way. Perhaps you were enticed into a get rich quick scheme or some other experience that drew you in by appealing to your greed, or maybe just a desire for pleasure. Everyone wants to feel good. Everyone wants to know what happiness feels like. However for you happiness is an unattainable goal just out of reach. You feel like you are never enough. You feel obligated to try harder, but because you doubt your own self-worth, you are drowning in guilt. Like a panicked swimmer you may pull others around you down in your struggle for survival. This is what it feels like to be a narcissistic abuser. If you identify with these feelings as a victim of narcissistic abuse, just try to understand that misery loves company. Your current or previous captor no doubt installed these feelings in you, just as someone installed these feelings in them. That is how generational trauma works.

This brings us to the twelve steps that will ruin another person's life. I will list them here, then we will break each one down in the chapters that follow:

(1) Play the victim.
(2) Feed their ego.
(3) Get them to dance with you by repeating steps one and two, until they are in step with you.
(4) Let them twirl you around so they feel like they are in control. Then give them a helpless look mixed with admiration and smile.
(5) Help them to feel useful. Give them something to do. Ask for a favor. If they resist, return to steps one and two.
(6) Remember, they are just here to help, but remind them of how much you need them. They love to be needed, and you love to be helped.
(7) Get them to care more about you than they care about your enemies. If they need more convincing, repeat steps one and two.
(8) When you cause them pain hold your enemies responsible. Then help them to see that their discomfort is either their own fault, or someone else's. Then remind them that you are the only one who truly understands them.
(9) Give them room to breathe by releasing them onto your enemies just long enough for them to realize that you were right all along. Since your enemies don't understand your methods, they should play their part well.
(10)  Expand your base so they don't feel too isolated. Introduce them to others on your team. Promote in-fighting as needed, but always be the source of their solution.
(11) Never underestimate the power of repetition. Repeat all previous steps as needed.
(12) Know when to quit. If they start to make a stink, throw them overboard to protect the rest of your catch.  The rest of your team will thank you for being so concerned for their well being. If too many team members start to make a stink, sell your whole catch to the highest bidder, and retire.

Some of these steps may sound a bit confusing because of the metaphorical expressions I used. Rest assured I will break each one down in the subsequent chapters. It is easy to question the ethical behavior of such an individual. However, when you are driven by Fear, Obligation, Guilt, and Greed, people tend to become desperate. And desperate people will do some pretty terrible things to survive. A mouse in a maze isn't concerned with ethics. They're only interested in finding their next piece of cheese.

You may be reading this and thinking that I'm describing a business man's playbook. You're right I am. It's also an opportunist's playbook. It's also a con-man's playbook. It's also a gangster's playbook. It's also a predator's playbook. This is the playbook of anyone who uses undue influence to motivate others, and now it's yours. You could use this book to win friends and influence people, or you could use it to destroy lives. Or you could learn from it. You could understand the art of deception. You might even wake someone else up to how undue influence ruins lives.

Just remember, your captor is not your enemy. They are just scared, and they want you to be scared too. You don't have to turn the page, but if you really have empathy then you will want to help someone who is a captive of this concept. It will not be easy, and you may get hurt by the captor and the captive.

Is it worth it? It really depends on how determined you are to help others. However, let me repeat what I stated before. This is not about good and evil. A cavalier attitude will only make things worse. You are not the hero of this story. You are merely a voice on the other side of their prison cell. They don't need someone on the outside feeling sorry for them. They need a fellow captive who isn't afraid. Through your calm and patient example they may realize that there is hope of escape. Don't become their next captor. When you are used to being someone's prisoner, freedom doesn't make any sense.

If you really want to help, you need to get down in the trenches with them. It is my hope that considering the twelve chapters to follow will place everyone on an equal playing field. So, if your ready, turn the page, because someone needs our help. They may not want it. So, want it for them, by playing the victim.