look after you × winterwidow & oc

III. do you remember her?

She kept stroking his back and leaned closer to encircle his neck with her arm. Once again his head rested on her shoulder and she put her cheek against his hair, pulling him closer. Then slowly, piece by piece he let his walls down and broke down.

For a while, he was silent, aside from the rapid breathing sounds. Only after a while first, quiet sobs could've been heard. Natasha held James closely through all of it, constantly moving her hand across his back in a gentle manner, while the other hand stroked his hair. Not immediately did she realize what she was doing was the same thing she used to do for Katya any time she was upset for whatever reason. And it always worked. Sometimes few seconds were enough, another time she had to spend over an hour cuddling her frail frame until she was able to completely calm herself down.

"I've got some more photos if you want to see them."

Barnes sniffled and blinked a few times trying to regain his composure. Natasha still remembered how hard it was for him to express his feelings in front of anyone. It wasn't like he had many chances for that before. He wasn't supposed to have any of them. She only saw him cry twice before.

First, when he trusted her enough to show her his real self, everything that was hidden behind The Winter Soldier's exterior. He mourned and grieved for the life that was taken away from him, the one that he could barely remember.

Second, when he learned about Katya's existence and before he could tell Natasha about her, he found out about Hydra's and Red Room's plans for her. He was told all of this on purpose - for his handlers, it was just another way to try and break him.

He didn't shed any tears while begging Romanoff to save her. On the contrary, he was determined and confident in his decision. For Natasha, it seemed completely crazy at first. He barely knew the child but was ready for great sacrifices. He wanted a better life for her. Safe, normal, far from abuse, free from experiments, trials, and assassin training.

After James nodded, Natasha leaned back to access her jacket pocket and took the plastic bag out. She took all the photos in her hand and sat back down comfortably.

"The one you're holding was taken during Christmas," she explained. "Her first Christmas ever. She was so confused when she got presents but so happy afterward."

Katya was smiling. There was a bit of uncertainty on her face, but the smile was there. She was wearing a red sweater with a reindeer on it. In her arms, she clutched one of her gifts from that day. A stuffed, chubby seal that soon turned into one of her most prized possessions.

It was the same year they got out of The Red Room. Clint invited them over to his and Laura's house. They didn't know each other even half as well as they did now, but ever since he decided not to take his shot, there was this unique connection between them. Then he decided to let her into his life, into his family and that day was the beginning of something much more than usual friendship.

It was also Natasha's first Christmas. The first one were nothing was fake. Where relationships were genuine - created, not set up. Where people really loved each other instead of pretending only because it was needed for a mission. Where instead of empty boxes under the tree, there were real presents, where joy and cheer were sincere. For a while, she felt so overwhelmed that it turned into numbness, but after all the feelings settled down she felt nothing but gratitude. Mostly for Katya though. She still had to learn that her feelings are important too.

Natasha put the photo at the back of the stack. Now on top was one taken over a year after their great escape. The difference in Katya was already striking. Of course, every kid that age changed a lot, they literally grew overnight and the biggest difference was impossible to catch with a camera. The white-haired girl was sitting on her bed in her room at the Bartons. The first time she ever had her own room. Her eyes were a bit puffy and red, she was crying before but these were happy tears. And her smile was wide and sincere.