TBWFE━━the best warriors fanfic ever

Prologue

Perfectionmom was in pain. A lot of pain. And this was because her kit had decided to arrive.

Two boring, dull, and colorless kits had already popped out, mewling in monotones and smelling like Onlyoneleftpaw's basement. Ew. They suck.

But the last kit was having trouble. She was stuck. But Perfectionmom knew she'd be special. Why is that, you ask? Because she was casting rainbow disco ball light around the nursery. I'm giving birth to what I was named for. The perfect kit. The kit destined to be friggin awesome.

Perfectionmom had been named because her mother had always known she'd have the most amazing, wonderful, and powerful kits. Her last one must be better by far, otherwise, the first two wouldn't be so horrible and bland. Ick.

Suddenly, an explosion rocked the camp. Perfectionmom's kit had come. She catapulted out and flew up into the sky and hover there for a moment, levitating in her awesomeness.

The pain Perfectionmom felt eased. She was in awe of her awesome kit.

The kit was bigger than her littermates, and she was coated in rainbow glitter. She sparkled like diamonds and showered the ThebestClan camp in disco light.

Everyone danced.

The rainbow glitter kit was so unbelievably awesome that her awesome awesomeness forced the two other bland and stupid kits' eyes open. They were a boring, dull gray. Literally no color on them. They looked like a garbage can. Ew.

Perfectionmom turned to her wonderful husband, Deputybutt, who had the best butt in all the Clans, and asked, "What should I name these two awful runts?"

He wrinkled his nose (which was an awesome nose, but not as awesome as his big butt). "Ew they suck."

"Couldn't agree more," Perfectionmom said, momentarily throwing then worthless bundles into the river 13 miles away because supermom powers.

"But, for the names..." he began, wagging his butt excitedly, "you should name them for their worth."

She nodded excitedly, her awesome head bouncing like a really really really springy trampoline (She knows what trampolines are, duh).

Perfectionmom then stretched her gigantic long huge arm and dragged the half-drowned kits out of the river. "I will name the tom Whokit and the she-cat Careskit. You know, to symbolize my love for the little pieces of stinky garbage."

He smirked and flexed his butt. "Your nonexistent love for the little idiots?"

Perfectionmom: O.o You know me so well *smOOOOOOOch*

While the two awesome mates had conversed about the disgusting horrible unwanted chilrdren, the awesome rainbow disco glitter kit had stopped levitating, and the camp had stopped dancing. Everyone was now back to pretending they just hadn't moonwalked in the dirtplace.

The awesome rainbow disco glitter kit (we'll call her Ardgk just so I can save time) had started waltzing over to her awesome parents, rickrolling all the way. The closer Ardgk got, the more Perfectionmom realized the kit smelled like awesomeness itself. I'm been blessed. Then she tore her gaze away to fall on the unwanyted children and added to herself, cursed, too.

When Ardgk finished her rick roll, ending in a flourish of "NeVa GoNnA tElL A lIe AnD hUrT yEw," she promptly entered a solo of "Everything is Awesome."

Deputybutt, entranced enough to stop flexing his booty, whispered. "She hasn't even opened her eyes, but she's so... culturally informed."

Ardgk: EvRyTiNg Is CuL wHeN yEr PaRt O dA tEaM *Dramatic vocal flourish and yeets confetti*

Perfectionmom turned to her awesome-butted mate. "So... her name?" She considered for a moment, then used her super mega huge long mom arms and pulled the whole family into a hug (she'd sanatize after touching the unwanted children, of course). "She so awesomely awesome that she needs a name as awesome as her awesomeness," she informed them.

"You were named Perfectionmom because you were destined to give birth to the perfect kit, so how about Perfectionkit?" Deputybutt wondered.

The awesome mom grinned. "It's as awesome as her awesomeness!"

The newly named Perfectionkit: EyE cAn ByE mYsElF fLoWaS *Yeets roses*

Whokit and Careskit began mewling for milk. Using her supermom powers, Perfectionmom promptly flung them into the river. "Suckers-"

She then curled up next to Perfectionkit, who was still signing Miley Sirus. "Hey, little amazing one, when you're done with this music venue, you can have your first milk."

Perfectionkit's first words were: "Nah mom not a chance I want to eat my siblings"

Unwanted childs: Wait-

"I've always been interested in cannibalism," muttered Deputybutt. Perfectionmom felt the same, but she kept her mouth shut to hold in her laughter. I have the legit best kit. Slay.

She purred. "Perfectionkit, you're too young to eat prey."

Unwanted childs: Wait-

Perfectionmom: YeW wErE sPoSeD tWo BeE iN tHe RiVa *Yeets*

Unwanted childs: :sob: mom no

Perfectionmom: >3) MoM yEs

*     *      *       *       *       *       *       *       *

Perfectionmom opened her eyes to find herself in StarClan. "WAIT NO IM TOO YOUNG AND I HAVE AN AWESOME KIT LET ME HAVE MORE TIME"

A chuckle. Perfectionmom wheeled around to find herself with her sister, a rainbow she-cat who was doused in barbeque sauce. "Awesomesauce? Is it really you? I haven't seen you since the horrible foam mattress incident! The one where you died and Nobody lost his body!"

"Yes, I remember when I died," drawled Awesomesauce. "But don't worry about Nobody—his body is with us."

Perfectionmom: Okie owo

"Perfectionmom, of course you aren't dead. StarClan knows your kit is awesome. We made her awesome."

She sighed in relief. "Yay!"

Awesomesauce smirked, flexing her barbeque sauce. "ur still dumb sis"

"kk"

"But anyway, I came to you to say that your kit will grow up the be awesome and become leader and save the Clans and rule everything and defeat ToTaLlYnOtEvIlClAw and be generally awesome." Then Awesomesauce did a backflip and started to fade away.

"Your kit will grow up the be awesome and become leader and save the Clans and rule everything and defeat ToTaLlYnOtEvIlClAw and be generally awesome." What could it mean? It was so vague! Perfectionmom could barely grasp the premise. I think it's about Perfectionkit... But I'm probably wrong.

She then also did a backflip and faded away into normal weird dreams.