Good Omens, Season 3

Such a Snake

Tadfeild.

Crowley had miracled a landowner into letting him rent a small cottage for very cheap. He had swapped out all of the homely, warm decor and replaced it with black, very dark greys and red colours. He thought that later he could go and find Adam and the gang. Probably not though.

As he got the last of his plants out of the Bentley, it turned yellow, a tray of orange sweets appeared and classical music started to play.

"Don't do this to me." Crowley ordered. "He is gone. He left us remember? He went to be a little boss for the little angels... I miss him too."

* * *

Since one singular day after his Angel left, Crowley could feel that something bad had happened. It got stronger and weaker at times. At one point it was so bad that he could even smell it. At first it was up, then it was down. He didn't know why but it worried him. What if something happened with Aziraphale. What if heaven was up to no good.

Crowley decided to go for a walk. An alcoholic walk. He strutted around the village with a half-empty bottle of cheap vodka in his hand. Normally he would go for whine or whiskey but he was all out due to the recent circumstances. Drinking was his only escape. It made him forget about the things happening in his life, for a while anyways. The demon walked into a mini supermarket and wandered around. He saw a star projector on one of the shelves. He picked it up and cleverly walked out of the shop, miracling away the beepers. Crowley missed his stars. The Nebula. He had spent millennias building it just to be told that it would get shut down right before the engine even warmed up. He was hoping this would offer some comfort as his emotions had been getting the better of him recently. It was nightfall now, the demon was excited to watch the 'stars'.

As he got back to the cottage, he tossed the (now empty) bottle into the bin and trudged upstairs. He changed into some boxers and switched the projector on. Memories flooded back of his time as an Angel. He remembered when Azi came to help him start up the Nebula. He remembered singing hymns and flying. He missed flying, it was so freeing and comfortable. Oh to fly again. Crowley curled up into a ball as sleep came over him.

Suddenly, he was in heaven at the foot of Aziraphale.

"Crowley. I am beyond dissatisfied with your actions and attitude. You are a pathetic excuse for a Demon and a pathetic excuse for a friend. You should just destroy yourself. I can't believe I ever trusted you, you are a snake." Azi yelled.

"What?! Angel? You really think that about me?" Crowley croaked.

"Yes. Of course I do. Why would I not? You have proved it over and over. You deserve to be destroyed. Erased from the book of life!" Azi

"If that's what you want Angel." Crowley

He woke up in a cold sweat, shaking.

"It was just a fucking dream."

He got out of bed and put some clothes on. It was 03:25 AM. Perfect time for a drive.

Crowley got into the Bentley and started driving. He could start looking for holy water soon. It's not like his Angel would ever really need him again right? Right? Crowley drove around Tadfeild.

*Don't do it! Don't do it!*

"Bentley. What on Earth are you doing."

*Don't try suicide! No bodies worth it!*

"Yes, noted, you can stop now"

*Don't try suicide! No-*

"Right. Thanks."

*Don't try suicide! Your just gonna hate it!*

"Bentley! Stop this right now!"

"Good." Crowley hissed.

For Satans sake this ssstupid car.

* * *

It was now 05:48 AM. Crowley had been driving for around two and a half hours. He was just zoned out, going in a random direction. If he got lost he could just miracle himself back.

He drove himself home.

* * *

The sun woke Crowley up, it burned his eyes. He wore sunglasses to hide his snake eyes and because he was very light sensitive, Hell is a very dark place and he was there for quite a while before Earth came around with its sun. He remembered the sun being built. It took ages. The solar system took so long to build and every angel in heaven had to help. All that just for it to last 6000 years. Anyways, the sun was a good idea but the brightness dials were far too high.

He trudged downstairs and sat on the couch.

"Crow-" a very quiet voice called.

"What the heaven was that?!" Crowley

"Crowley.." the voice called again.

Crowley stood up and focused.

"Help"

Shit.

It was Aziraphale's voice. Crowley could recognise it anywhere. Something was wrong.