Boys of West Denton ✓

chapter thirty

I should say no. That would be the smart thing, wouldn't it? Just say it: No, Harris, I need time to heal from this, because this is a new kind of rejection, and I need to recover from feeling as if I've lost you, because I can never have you like I want to. So, very sorry, but I cannot afford to make out with you and do other things, or else I might cry. Heavily. And snottily. Thank you for your understanding! Enjoy the rest of your lonely summer!

I can't bring myself to do it, though.

Even though I feel betrayed, just the mere thought of Harris' hands in my hair and his soft lips pressed against my own makes me weak in the knees. There's simply no way I'm going to shut this down right now. I can't.

"Yeah," I tell him half-heartedly, "friends with benefits works just fine."

"You're sure?"

"Yes." Yes, Harrison, because I'm going to phase you out. Slowly, piece by piece, I'm going to spend the rest of the summer getting over you before I absolutely have to let you go.

—

I'm back in my truck, alone. The first thing I do? Call Saanvi.

She picks up on the fourth ring. For a minute there, I was worried that she wasn't going to, so when I hear her confused, "Hello?" I'm flooded with relief.

"Hey," I say, "what are you doing?"

"Um, I was spooning with my good buddy, Mr. Heating Pad."

"Oop. Sorry for interrupting."

She groans, probably stretching. "You're gooood. Why, what's up?"

"I did it. I brought things up with Harris."

There's a thud on the other line. A thud, and a quiet, "Owwwww," quickly followed by a, "WHAT THE FUCK, SEB? How did it go?"

"It was ... well, okay. It didn't really go how I wanted it to go." I peel out off Harris' street, which is only a few blocks from mine. I could probably walk to his house in under ten minutes, but I like having my truck with me. The weather today suits my feeling perfectly—the sun is bright, and far too hot. But the storm clouds gathered threateningly in the distance have come ever closer. I give the rain an hour, max.

"Oh no, Seb. Babes. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay!" I insist, way too fast. I all but yell it into my truck's BlueTooth speaker, which isn't exactly as chill as I'd like for it to be. I clear my throat. Take a breath, Seb. This time, I speak slower. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Yeah. I'm good."

"Wanna come over?"

My parents will probably be wondering where I am, having not heard from me in over twenty-four hours, but honestly, I don't care right now. I'm an adult, for crying out loud. I can be trusted on my own for a day or so.

"Sure," I tell her. "I'm going to keep you on the other end while I drive, though."

"Okay." There's more shuffling, probably her either getting up to get dressed, or getting comfortable. "Give me the motherfuckin' tea."

I exhale. "Okay, so, we had sex last night."

"I'M SORRY, WHAT?"

"Saanvi, calm—"

"DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, MY BEST FRIEND JUST HAD"—she whispers this next part, like someone might be listening—"sex? SEB. SEEEB."

"Yeah, I—"