17 | this time that felt so right

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leo and i reminisced a lot when we were with each other. i think that was what makes our relationship so great. we had a history that was a decade and three years. a history with memories, laughter, and love. but i sometimes wished we knew each other for longer. what would it have been like to be friends with him as a child? i wanted to experience that for myself.

"one day i'll show you a picture." he told me, followed by a sip of water that looked too cold to touch. "i'll take you to my parents house."

my face lit up like halos and angels surrounded me. even my sluggish body that had just woken up a little less than an hour before seemed to obtain energy that was nonexistent a few seconds ago.

"i'd love that." i said, and just hoped it would really happen.



the energy of his few words wore off a few hours after, when mia was already awake and leo had offered to go to the shop to get some more nappies. she was down to her last few and i was hoping to go to the shop with him but he told me it was alright and he had it all under control. it was the first time we were apart since we decided to get together. i found myself quite lonely and bored, but i was keeping myself occupied by cleaning the house and watching over mia. i predicted the wait to be around forty five minutes to an hour based around traffic and how fast he could find the baby section.

when i was finished with the tidying up, i picked mia up and sat down with her on the sofa. she looked a little hungry, so i had her breastfeed even though she doesn't do it that often. i usually turned to pumping because you could get more out of it, but i appreciated the nostalgic connection i felt when i breastfed her. it took me back to when she was a newborn too small to open her eyes.

mia was an obedient little baby. i didn't need to worry about her as nearly as much as i thought. she rarely ever cried and she almost always had a smile on her face. i loved her more than anything in the world, and i was beyond happy that she was too young to understand the hell i've been through in the last few months.

as i sat there with mia who was greedily feeding off my milk, i thought of leo and how great a parent he could be to her. i think it was safe to say that we were serious this time. that everything was going to work out just how we wanted it. we knew everything about each other. there wasn't much to hide. we never disagreed, and if we did, we always found a way to make it work out. our arguments were never too huge either. we forgave and forgot. God, he should've been the one i married before jim and sam. i don't know why i didn't try harder.

five minutes became thirty, and mia was too full to take another sip. i set her to the side so i could fix myself up, then i carried her over to the carpet so she could sit down and play with her toys. sitting was a fairly new thing she learned how to do. just before we left home for the states, mia was sitting up a storm, if it was possible. she began to sit all over the place, but she would need a little assistance first. i was sad to see her grow up, but i was also excited for what the future held for her. i'd like to believe she was made to do big things.

i played with her for a little bit, waving her toys around her while she giggled so hard she was going to fall over if i didn't save her quick enough. then we continued to play like nothing ever happened. i admired her innocence as i watched her play with toy keys made of rubber that she just stuck in between her toothless gums. the baby book i read when i was pregnant with her informed me her teeth should've been growing in by now, but i was grateful hers wasn't because i would assume her pain would be almost intolerable.

after a few minutes of playing, there was a noise that erupted from behind. the doorknob to the front door vibrated, and i assumed it to be leo trying to get into the house. i checked the clock, taking note of the fact that he had taken a little less than an hour to get mia's nappies. he opened the door with them in his hand, a smile emerging on my face.

"aw, there you are. thank you for going for me." i stood up with mia on my hip, walking over to leo who was locking the door before he got any closer. he dropped the package of nappies onto the ground, revealing his face to me. my smile disappeared instantaneously when he looked me into the eyes, his face solemn like there was no trace of happiness inside of him. i placed mia on the couch so i could console him without any struggle.

"darling, what's the matter?" i asked, rushing over to him and helping him take his jacket off. i quickly set his jacket onto the floor, kicking it to the side to worry about later.

i put my two hands on either side of his arms, his bright blue eyes staring down at me. he embraced me tightly, almost causing me to trip but i caught myself before it was too late. my arms wrapped around the small of his back just as tight, confused but worried about him. i bit my lip, eyebrows inward.

"leo. leo, what's the matter?" my voice was soft and comforting as i tried to understand what was going on. he hadn't spoken a word or mumbled a sound yet. and i was getting more worried by the second.

he stepped back, holding onto my hand like it was the only thing he was made for. i could feel the caress of his thumb against my skin as i gripped tighter onto his hand. his eyes looked tired, his mouth sealed shut. his head full of hair was slightly messier than before, and his skin looked as pale as a ghost. but then when his lips parted, and he took a deep breath, the most unexpected of words came and left, as if it was as insignificant as one's favorite color. this, however, was not.

"bar's pregnant."


a/n:

hello! i'm so sorry i haven't updated in over a week. my schedule suddenly became busier and i had no motivation for this chapter (i'm sorry it's boring). i have to warn everybody that school is starting soon for me and i most likely will not be updating this as frequently as i have been over the summer. i will try my best to update on weekends but that is not a given! thank you all for reading, i hope you are enjoying so far!

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