Je Suis Prest || Outlander

Chapter 8

"I said she will not be going! She is my daughter, and she belongs here. How dare you try to take her away from me!"

"Ye told me to get the lass married and that is what I mean to do! I am not stealing her off to Edinburgh to spite you."

"Ha! There it is, you want to take my eldest child away from her home to marry some stranger from a city she has never even been to."

"Damn it, woman! Yer twisting my words. Marsali does not care for any of the boys here, they're not good enough for her and you know that."

"She doesna need good, she needs someone that will stay and provide for her!"

"Stay? You think I dinna try to stay? I begged you to let me stay. You turned me out from your bed, what else was I to do?"

"But ye didna stay, did ye? You and that French bastard were all too happy to move to Edinburgh!" My mouth grew sour at hearing the word 'bastard'.

"Shut yer mouth! I told ye to never call him that, ever! He is my son, mine. I raised him since he was a lad, and I named him."

Ma scoffed, "What a lot of good you did him getting yerself locked up in Ardsmuir. He might have had both hands if not for ye." Jamie did not respond, but rather took to tossing things about and causing furniture to crash down onto the floor. My breath caught in my throat at the sound. He had never before lost his temper in this way. I had also never known my mother to be so cruel. Joanie and I clutched each other's hands on the landing and tried to picture what was being thrown around downstairs. I whispered reassurance and tried to pull her into me to block her ears.

When we heard heavy footsteps coming towards the stairs we scrambled to our feet and lunged towards our bedroom, not out of fear for Jamie, but fear that our mother would know we were listening. "Marsali, pack your things. We leave tomorrow morning," he said, somewhat out of breath and red in the face from his exertions.

"But Ma said..."

"I am your father and I say this is what's best." He shut the door behind him as he left, and sure enough when I went to the window I could see him striding across the grass towards the barn where Fergus waited. Joan surprised me by taking the lead in dragging our traveling bag out from under my bed and asking what dresses I needed. I was shaking, whether from excitement, anger, or fear I had no idea.

"I dinna ken, just pack them all."

The next morning I said a tearful goodbye to mother and promised to write when we arrived. I would only be away for a month, but this was the longest and furthest I had ever been way from home. Joan ran alongside us for as long as her legs would carry her. When she couldn't keep up, I made Fergus stop the horses to hug her one last time and send her home. She had wandered out so far from the house. I cried when we lost sight of her trudging back over the hills towards Balriggan.

"She'll be alright, lass. Soon she'll be playing with her dolls and forget all about ye being gone." 

Fergus whipped the reins and urged the horses to move faster. I was grateful he had kept them at a slow walk for as long as he did. We followed Loch Ness for many days before veering off into the Lowlands. It was a difficult journey, and after departing the shores of Loch Ness we had to sleep rough for many nights. Jamie and Fergus slept nearby, alternating taking turns on watch. The Highlands were safer now than they were right after the '45, but Lord knows what sort of beasts were lurking in the forests.

One night, Jamie had fallen asleep before Fergus and I, so we stayed up talking. He told me about Prestonpans, and how he led the Lallybroch men home from Culloden again. I had heard the tale countless times, but Auntie Jenny always said talking helped you heal. She said when Jamie came home from Culloden, she talked his ear off until he finally gave in and told them everything.