Hard As It Is

Chapter 12

"Maybe cause you're reliable, they feel you're always relaxed, never panicking in situations like this, like you're mentally stable. No weakness shown rock solid nigga," Dimitri laughs at the last part.

I frown up at his words. He looks towards me, "But that not it though? People only depend on what you let them see, and you; you don't let them see you at your fall, so how are they supposed to know when you don't have the answers," He tells me touching on the tough spot of my mind.

"To those who are in need of something to keep them safe. You showing them who you are now, the image you put out causes the reaction you see."

Dimitri passes me the smoke as I think on what he saying. " Do they see me as a protector, if that's so then they need to search for someone who can. I don't know how to protect what I love. I never did, that's why I stayed loosing the ones I cared for. There was no one to protect me when I was younger so I never learned."

"Do you think to protect something means You have to point a gun and shoot a nigga?" Dimitri questions me. It was good one too, so I was honest with my answer as I say, "Yea that's the only way to protect the ones you love."

Dimitri hums at my response his brown eyes hazily stares at the sun set. As he turns to look towards me, smiling down at me, before saying, "What a childish way of thinking?"

I stare at him tilting my head, "What do you mean?" 

Dimitri smile falters as he shifts his body in my direction, "So what if someone was trying to shoot you, and I take that bullet for you. Would I've not have protected you? Or would you consider me a fool cause I died in the place of you."

I narrow my eyes at him, "I never-

"But it's what you believe? Am I right? You think you have to be super nigga strong! You don't think a weak person can protect also."

My eyes widen, "I I-

"You have to experience what being weak and strong, before ever thinking  about becoming  just strong. And even then you're not as strong as you claim, because of the weakness that you are in fact human. You ain't flying nigga, shooting webs, or controlling sea's. All you're doing is surviving. You walk around  trying to carry boulders all your life, you're eventually going to walk into a mountain, and with that same broken ass calm expression  you put on, as you try to lift that bitch up, all them boulders and that mountain gonna crash down on you," He finishes telling me passing the blunt back towards me.

"Listen to the word of someone who's lived like you, who sees you, I know trust that."

I blink back into reality as Quez finishes his sentence. My eyes narrow staring at him, "You're not wrong I need your protection, so let's protect each other."

Quez gasp, "What's got into you my nigga to admit that you need me so easily, making a nigga feel like a king before his death bed." He lets me know chuckling a bit and cheesing  so hard.

Now that I'm paying attention to him, he looked a lil to skinny. Quez never been a guy with too much muscle he was the lean type not much mass but still had a nice body.

"Nigga you are staring at me like this for what?"  Quez questions me tilting his head to the side.  I shake my head, but my mind tugged in another direction. Those test results, was it possible that those were actually his and if so, how long, and since when? 

"You seem to be in your head, want to tell me what's bothering you, barely recognize a nigga was behind you," I feel a hand on my head, and hear Slim's voice from behind me. I move my head away as he laughs coming to sit on the couch beside me. Though I was able to figure out some things on my own about him.