If Only You Knew

FOUR

- You too, Shawn, I responded, stepping away.

We parted ways with a polite promise to keep in touch. As I walked away from the cafe, my heart swelled with a mix of emotions—gratitude and sudden curiosity that left me wanting for more. 
I knew this coffee was meant to be just that, closure for the both of us. I had my life in London, and he had his own successful career. We existed in two separate worlds, so why would we realistically keep in touch? I was so lost in these thoughts that before I knew it, I was already at the door of Chloe's building.

Walking into the apartment, I was greeted by the warm fragrance of candles, their flickering light casting a cozy glow around the room. Chloe was perched on the couch, a glass of wine in her hand and her demeanor unusually calm.

- Well, look who's back, she teased with a playful tone, mischief dancing in her eyes.

I walked over and settled onto the couch beside her, not ready to take off my coat just yet. There was already an echo of Chloe's voice telling me that I was most likely overthinking ringing in my head. I turned towards her, and found her patiently grinning.

- Someone has been drinking, I teased her.
- It's the holidays, who cares. And I was bored since you ditched me for your little rendez-vous.

She dismissed me with a casual wave of her hand as I rolled my eyes trying to act nonchalant.

- It wasn't a date, I replied shedding my winter layers.
- Mmh, you tell yourself that.

I mockingly narrowed my eyes at her, though her infectious smirk made it hard to maintain the facade of annoyance. Eventually, a chuckle escaped me, and Chloe's squealed in victory before handing me a glass of wine. I crossed my legs and caught the sight of an array of sweets and crackers thoughtfully spread before us.

- It wasn't a date because all we did was clear the air, I stated, my hand reaching for a chocolate-covered strawberry.

Chloe leaned back against the cushions, waiting for me to share more. I savored the sweetness of chocolate and the bitterness of the strawberry for a moment, gathering my thoughts before continuing.

- Fine, not a date. Spill it, she demanded playfully.

Taking a sip of my wine, I let the flavors dance on my tongue before launching into the story of our meeting.  As I recounted the moment to her, I realized that it had been relatively brief. Obviously, Chloe bursted into laughter at our drink-and-dash tab Shawn had to clear, finding the whole ordeal hilarious once again. I left out the mixed feelings that had resurfaced since I already had an idea of her interpretation of it. It wasn't something I wanted to hear at the moment. Chloe remained quiet, her gaze focused on my face, analyzing every expression.

- Mmh-mh, she uttered, skeptical.
- What now, I risposted.

After taking a hearty sip from my glass, I stared back at her sinking in the couch.

- This isn't the juicy gossip I wanted to tip to the tabloids.

With a theatrical pout, she grabbed a grissini and pretended to munch on it, feigning disappointment. Her playful act caught me off guard, and I burst into genuine laughter, feeling the wine loosening me. After I changed into cozy loungewear, we decided to put on a Christmas movie, cozied up on the couch, enjoying each other's company. As I half-watched the predictable Hallmark movie, a pang of guilt tugged at my heart, reminding me to check in with my mom. I had been unfairly distant with her lately. Being back home was a chance to turn a new page, leaving behind past mistakes and creating a fresh chapter with her.

As the credits rolled on the movie, we agreed it was the ideal time for a pampering session.  Layering up multiple masks and taking turns to give each other manicures, our Sunday was well spent. The wine had worked its magic, we were both slightly tipsy but enjoyed our relaxing afternoon of self-care.

Later on, we transitioned to our all-time favorite TV show, New Girl, accompanied by a spread of pizzas. It was the perfect escape from reality, and it drew us with its silly humor and quirky characters. Cocooned in blankets and cushions, the couch transformed into a cozy haven away from the world.

At one point, Chloe excused herself to the bathroom, and I decided to check my Instagram feed. Among the festive and cheerful stories, my thoughts drifted to Shawn. I hesitated, then typed his name into the search bar, my curiosity getting the better of me. His profile hadn't changed a bit, not even a holiday story or post. I was disappointed but a detail from earlier resurfaced in my mind, giving me an idea. I opened my direct messages, hunting for his name. As I stared at our purple text bubbles, a rush of adrenaline sped through my fingers.

It seems that I still owe you
a couple of drinks, are you around this week?

Before I could overthink the proposition, I hit the send button and hid my phone in the couch. My heart raced in my chest and I furtively glanced around me, as if guilty of a crime. Chloe's footsteps startled me, and I shifted in my seat looking at her.

- What did I miss, she asked in a yawn.

Shuffling in my spot, I made room for her to sit beside me.

- Nothing really, I whispered.