eating Disorder (Lando X Arthur)

#2

Tuesday September 12

The next morning I got home early. I put my things on the cupboard in the hallway and I take off my shoes. I walk to the bedroom and open the door.

Lando was in bed on his phone.

"Hey." he says when he looks up and puts his phone away. "Hey Darling." I say and I walk into the bedroom. "Can I lie down with you?" I ask and Lando opens the covers for me. I lie down in bed and Lando lies in my arms. He lays his head on my shoulder and he rubs my stomach.

"I love you Arthur." "I love you too Lando." I say and I kiss his forehead. "How do you feel?" "Unsettled." "Yeah, why?" I ask, tightening my grip. "I'm afraid Arthur." he whispers, pressing his face into the hollow of my neck. I caress his neck. "What scares you so much?" "I'm nauseous. If I eat now I'm going to puke." he says and I swallow. "We can also eat later? If you're sick it's not nice to eat. I can make a smoothie? Would that be something for you?" "Maybe." he says. "Did you throw up yesterday?" I ask. "No." "I am so proud of you." I say and Lando holds me tighter. "I don't want to dissapoint you." "You don't Honey. I see that every day is different, but that's okay. Some days are harder than others. But I'm with you, I'll stay with you." I say and a sob leaves Lando's mouth. "Hey." I say worriedly and I press him closer to me. "It's okay Mon Amour." "It's not okay Arthur." he sobs and I put my hand to his hair. "Take me in your thoughts." I say. "I hurt you." he sobs and I swallow again and I lightly push him away from me so I can look at him. Tears roll down his cheeks. "Look at me Love." Lando looks at me and I rub his cheek. "You're not hurting me. It's a tough time, but we'll get through it together. Right? Everything together." I say. "Everything together." sobs Lando. "I love you Lando." I say and Lando sobs. "Why, you can have better Arthur. I'm hurting you." "You're not hurting me Lando. You're hurting yourself and I'm sorry. I don't want you to think like that. You're not hurting me. Look at me Lando." I say as he looks away. I put both my hands around his face and he looks at me. "You're not hurting me. I know what's better for you. Sometimes you need some space and that's okay. I need that too." I say and I wipe away his tears. "But you don't hurt me, never. And what's our promise?" I ask him. "Say if you are hurt by yourself or somebody else." says Lando and I nod. "Exactly. Did I say those words?" "No." "Right. You're not hurting me. I don't want you to think about that." I say. "Okay." says Lando softly and I wipe his tears again. "Do you know what you make me feel?" I ask and Lando takes my shirt in his hands. He looks at me and waits for me to continue talking.

You make me feel happy, you make me feel loved. You make me feel like the most important person in your world. When I look at you I feel the butterflies in my stomach, I get a big smile on my face. When Charles introduced me to you in 2019 my whole world changed. At that moment it seemed like everyone around me disappeared except the two of us. Charles who?" a smile comes on his face. "When I see you I have to smile, I feel happy. And Lucky me, we've been together for almost 4 years." I say and Lando smiles wider. "4 years already." says Lando and I smile and nod. "4 years. 4 years every time seeing your pretty face. Jeez lucky me." I say and Lando chuckles. "I love you Lando Norris." "I love you too Arthur. Thank you for everything you do for me." he says and hugs me again. "If only you never forget how much I love you." I say and Lando shakes his head. "I love you so much Arthur." says Lando and he looks at me. "I couldn't do this without you. God knows where I would have ended up. Without you I wouldn't be where I am now. I'm doing better thanks to you." "Thanks to us. You search for help by yourself Lando, you maked sure that you always go one step further." "I could never take those steps without you." he says and I smile weakly and I rub his cheek. "We are so strong together." I say and Lando chuckles. "So strong." says Lando and I smile wider. "I say too little how much I need you." says Lando and I shake my head. "Your body posture and your eyes say it all, really." I say and Lando smiles. "You are so sweet Arthur." "I love you. I want to help you in everything you need to do. God if I could get in your car to help you I would have. Then we could have raced Charles and Max together." I say and Lando chuckles and hugs me again. "This is why I love you so much. You know how to say something that makes me feel better again. I love you crazy thoughts Leclerc." he says and I grin and I kiss his neck. "I love you." I say and I hold him close to me.