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October was very worried that she had messed up by kissing Elijah. She wished she had more self-control but the opportunity seemed too perfect. That she could kiss him and have it mean nothing, have an excuse if he reacted badly. Maybe she was just fed up about being the last one of her friends to have a first kiss, she just wanted to get it over with. It wasn't a good kiss - too quick to feel anything. It felt like tapping her mouth against the back of her hand.
Then he was smiling, he seemed happy that it had happened and all she wanted then was for it to happen again.
He had been much more confident since. Arrogance could be irritating depending on how it's wielded. If someone possesses the trait because they think that they're better than others then that's the worst - October couldn't stand those people. Elijah was different. He simply thrived on saying compliments to watch her blush. After the kiss, he wasn't worried about saying the wrong thing. She found it very attractive that he was confident enough to be straightforward, saying what he wanted. Telling her that he wanted to see her again.
She had even started complimenting him - guessing that if she liked it then maybe he would too. Telling him things that she'd want to hear. Hoping that she wasn't being strange by saying he was funny when he'd tell a joke. She'd never do it in front of anyone else - it was still a barrier that she wasn't ready to cross. She hadn't told any of her friends about it, she felt embarrassed. It didn't have anything to do with Elijah, it was her own insecurities. The fear they'd laugh at her, even though she knew they wouldn't.
She wondered if he had told anyone, though judging by the fact Rob hadn't teased her about it she assumed he hadn't. They seemed none the wiser. She couldn't decide if she wanted him to tell them. On one hand, it'd be humiliating and on the other she wanted it to be important enough for him to want to tell them. It was a strange dilemma especially since she knew she hadn't told anyone either (and she didn't plan to).
She had joined them a couple of times, sitting in Ryan's room as they practised. Kennedy came once but, as much as she liked Josh, hearing them try to figure out riffs wasn't exactly her idea of fun. She'd be more than happy to listen when it was finished. October loved it - Elijah loved that she loved it. How she'd interject with her opinions and, even though she couldn't play an instrument for the life of her, offer suggestions. She wasn't afraid to hurt their feelings, telling them the truth. She wouldn't say that they sounded good just to be polite.
It felt natural to have her there, the one time she couldn't come he kept waiting to hear her voice telling them that the tempo was off. He preferred it when she was there. It was becoming a routine, it felt strange not to invite her.
