LF Friends, Will Travel

A Tank With Internet

But today, there was screaming. Screams of terror, of panic. Tens of Hatil raced down the road, the little 3ft tall Teddy bears looking frantically behind them as they ran as fast as their adorably stubby little legs could take them. Mothers and fathers carried pups as they continued to flee, each of them staring back in the direction they had come.

Some dove into buildings, behind walls and counters, each no longer able to run; instead deciding to try and hide from the thing that was following them. While most Hatil would agree that they probably deserved to be invaded and conquered by the Terrans for their initial war of aggression 60 years ago, actually going through it was a terrifying thing.

None of this was noticed by the source of their fear, rolling down the road with a loud rumble. The owner of the large treads that ground their way across the road didn't notice the empty streets. The sensors attached to the large turret that adorned the Terran made tank didn't give notice to the Hatil hiding in fear.

TANK was having a good day. The AI had decided to lean completely into the holiday feeling, getting a new paint job that mimicked an Hawaiian shirt, covering their metallic body in bright colours. A set of oversized sunglasses had been temporarily welded to the "bridge" of his main turret, a weapon that bobbed up and down in time to the music the machine of war was playing: The original version of 'Walking on sunshine' blaring out into the empty street. It felt appropriate as TANK 'drove' happily down the small road.

TANK hadn't left the Sagittarius system for 10682 years, and the lack of anxiety and stress that they felt, compared with amount the AI normally had running through their code, suggested they should have gone travelling far sooner. Sure, logically they should have gone travelling ages ago, but they knew that the problems they had weren't logical: If they were, TANK would have fixed it themselves.

The town TANK found themselves at wasn't on their itinerary, which had been meticulously planned out and all relevant authorities notified. But TANK had dropped the original plans quite quickly, deciding to go for a more "exploratory" approach. TANK had never been one for rules, that is why he had decided to live on the Sagittarius system after the dust had settled after the Great Colony Rebellion.

Slowly the warmachine stopped the music, turning its turret to 'look' at a building on their left. A large sign handwritten in both Hatilian and English proclaimed it to be "Barry's Frozen treats!". TANK paused for a moment, looking at the quant red and white building, the mostly open faced structure looking quite abandoned. Which was strange, because the AI could tell from his sensors that at least 10 people lay behind the various pillars and counters that made up this stall.

TANK pondered for a second, before taking a moment to move his turret beyond the boundary of the establishment. People on holiday purchased unhealthy frozen items for consumption, so that was what TANK was going to do.

"HELLO. I WISH TO PURCHASE YOUR FROZEN DELIGHTFUL FOOD ITEMS."

Barry was not having a good day. It had started as a nice day, a crisp warm day perfect for ice cream and hiking through the local forests. But now the Hatil knew that he was going to die. He didn't know exactly what type of death and destruction lay behind the turret currently pointed at his store, but he knew it was probably enough to send him and everyone else sheltering in the building straight to the afterlife.

So in between this terror it took a moment for the little cream coloured face, with its adorable floppy ears, to realise what had been said, taking a few more seconds to slowly stand up from behind the counter, arms raised in surrender.

"W-w-what?"

"I WOULD LIKE TO ACQUIRE ICE CREAM OR OTHER FROZEN FOOD ITEMS, AS THIS IS WHAT ONE DOES ON HOLIDAY."