Meant To Be

Chapter 4

Chapter title- Trouble

~4 Months Later~
•claires pov•
"Goodmorning Love," Jamie says waking me up, already fully clothed.
"How are you already completely dressed?"
"I was up early, guess which Scot arrived today?" He asked sitting on the bed.
I sigh. "Jamie there are so many Scots, I don't know."
"Murtagh, he's finally here, took him way to long," Jamie says and he looks happy.
"Really? I was starting to think he wasn't going to come anymore, he was supposed to arrive months ago,"
He smiles. "Aye, took him too long,"
"I guess I just get out of bed, then."
"Aye, ye should hurry up otherwise I might take ye, cause ye look very bonnie laying there," Jamie grins.
"In that case I might just stay here,"
"Nah Sassenach, tonight, not now," he says pulling my out of bed.
I sigh and I put on clothes.
Jamie's already downstairs so I follow him.
"Why, hello Murtagh,"
"Claire, I hope I'm still welcome," he says joking.
I smile. "Always,"
Jamie looks at me and smiles. "It's not like ye can change it can ye now?"
"I don't know can I?"
He walks off to the stables and doesn't come back until hours later.
"Sassenach, hide yerself," he yells running in.
"What's wrong Jamie? What happend?" I ask utter confusion.
"Redcoats, go in the secret room now," he says opening the small door and I crawl inside.
He comes in behind me and closes the small door just in time.
I can see the redcoats running in crashing stuff.
Jamie lies on top of me since there's no space and I can see the fear in his eyes.
"Jamie, it's going to be alright, right?" I whisper.
He looks at me with regret. "I didna ken Sassenach, stay quiet maybe they'll go away."
We can hear them yell in the background.
"Where is James Fraser? We know he's here so just tell us,"
"James Fraser is no' here? Why does everyone keep reminding us of that fact?" Ellen yells at the men.
"We ken he's here ma'am! Just hand him over,"
"He's not here! Otherwise I would've told ye that he was, it isna good to hide an outlaw."
"If he's not here tomorrow I will kill you all!" The leader says and I can see the fear on Ellen's eyes.
"I'm going to him," Jamie says and he opens the door before I can do anything.
"Sir, I'm right here. No one knew I was going to surprise them tomorrow, take me but dinna hurt my family,". He says.
"Jamie no!" I crawl out myself and I hold him.
"Claire, I'll be fine, just let me go," he says grabbing my hands and he kisses them. "I love Mo graidh,"
The red coats grab him and one of them grabs me.
"I do think your wife knew. Otherwise she wouldn't be with you in there!" The one holding me says.
"We take her with us?" another says.
"No! Take me with ye however ye want. But leave my family alone!" Jamie yells struggling the redcoats.
"Leave her here, she's not treat,"
They take Jamie away and I break down in tears.
"Nooo, Jamie!"
Ellen runs to me and holds me close. "Shh dinna fash Claire, we are going to get him, we just have to wait a few days,"
I look at her and shake my head. "I can't wait a few days, I need him with me now,"
"Why? I mean I understand but why now?"
Tears fill my eyes again. "Because I'm pregnant,"
Her face fills with excitement. "Yer pregnant, how far along are you?"
"4 months, I have known it for a long time but I didn't want to believe it,"
"Claire that's wonderful, I'll gather some men to fetch him," she says helping my up.
"I'm going with them, I'm not leaving Jamie behind,"
"Claire that's dangerous," she says worried.
"Well, he's my husband and the father of my child, I'm not leaving him alone,"
"Well I'm coming with ye to, and so are
Murtagh and Brian."

~A Few Days Later At Fort William~
After out heart wrenching conversation with sir fletcher and we are going back to the fort in the evening, Murtagh and Brian are keeping watch while Ellen and I look for Jamie.
We search all the corners and all the cells until we reach down.
I open the door to outside and then is when we hear Jamie scream.
Immediately I grab my still almost flat stomach.
Ellen notices and reassures me. "Let's go, we are not going back without him."
We walk to the cell and while I walk in Ellen keeps watch for another minute.
I see Jamie laying on the floor. "Jamie!"
I run to him and see his hand. "O god what happend?"
His eyes slowly open and I can see the worry. "Claire, what are ye doing here? Ye must leave Randal will be back soon,"
"Randall is here?"
"Ye must go,"
"I'm not leaving you Jamie," and exactly then Ellen comes in.
"Bloody hell. Jamie my boy,"
He looks at her and then at me. "Ye brought my mother too?"
"Jamie, everyone's here. You're coming home with us now," Ellen says helping him up.
Brian and Murtagh come in. "We have to leave, they know we are here!"
Murtagh and Brian support Jamie while Ellen walks behind them and I walk in the front to lead the way.
Jamie, Brian and Murtagh are already outside when the redcoats spot us.
"Quickly lay him on the cart!" I say and when Jamie is on I sit beside him.
Ellen quickly closes the door and sits on the front with Brian and Murtagh.
Some other men we gathered along the way are going to stop the redcoats as much as possible.
I take a look at Jamie's hand and see it's really bad.
"O god, my love," I say with tears in my eyes.
Jamie's eyes are closed but I can see him flinch in pain as is carefully touch his face.
"Jamie? Are you awake? Can you speak?" I ask quietly.
"Claire?" He slowly opens his eyes.
I give him a smile to comfort him. "I'm here, don't worry,"
Slowly the cart starts to move and Jamie groans in pain.
"Claire.. please let it stop hurting,"
I sigh not knowing what to do. "Hold on, I'm going to sit behind you, might make it more comfortable,"
I slowly lift his back and sit beside him.
"Come on, lay down," I say when he doesn't go back.
He lays down and his muscles tense when he touches my body.
"It's me, Claire. It's okay," I say calmly and he starts to relax.
I brush my hands trough his arm and give him small kisses, he slowly doses off.
"Where are we going? Not to Lallybroch I hope?"
"No, where going to another place. Somewhere with monks, they will hide us and know how to help," Ellen says handing me a blanket.
"Thank you," I take the blanket and I wrap it around Jamie.
We ride for hours until we reach the place.
They take Jamie out and I request some medical equipment.
"Here he is,"
"Thank you, can I have some time alone? Before we get started?" I ask him.
He nods and walks off.
I open the door and Jamie opens his eyes.
"Jamie, how are you feeling?"
He moves his broken hand and groans.
"Don't do that, it will make it worse," I say looking at his hand.
"Can ye fix it? I dinna wish to live wi' a crippled hand,"
I smile. "I can, I even think they might function good again after some time,"
He nods and closes his eyes without looking at me.
"Jamie.. what happend between you and Randall?"
He shakes his head. "I'll no' tell ye,"
"Jamie I'm your wife, I want to know, it's the only thing I need to know to help you,"
"There is one thing ye can do," he mumbles.
"What is it?"
"Tell mama the truth and let her bring ye to Craigh Na Dunn, go back and be safe,"
I look up shocked, again my warrior was gone. "No Jamie I won't leave you, I love you please. Let me help you, so we can live together forever. With our family, safe."
"There's no 'we' anymore Claire. The things Randall did to me it's... I canna be yer husband any longer and I'll no' be less to ye,"
Tears fill my eyes. "Tell me what happend, I won't judge, I won't tell you anything you don't want to hear."
He looks at me and starts his heart breaking story.
Afterwards he's sitting against the wall. "I want ye to leave... go back,"
"No! Absolutely not Jamie! I love you. And what happend doesn't change that, not now not ever!" I grab his cheeks and make him look at me.
"Claire.. I- every time I think I will die when ye dinna touch me but when ye do touch me I want to.. vomit with shame,"
"No Jamie! I love you! You're my husband and I'm your wife and nothing can come between that!" I sit on his legs but he still doesn't look at me.
I sigh. "Jamie please don't say you can't stand me anymore,"
Slowly his eyes meet mine. "I can stand ye Claire, I need your touch but I canna stand myself anymore,"
I put my hand on his cheek and kiss his forehead. "You are beautiful and strong Jamie. And we will get trough this together but I need to fix your hand first okay? Otherwise it might be too late,"
He nods and I call some monks in to help me.
"Hold him steady while I mend his hand,"
I focus on nothing but my job, it's a long and heavy proces, with groans from Jamie at every step.
After hours I'm finally done and I walk out.
"How is he?" Murtagh asks when he sees me.
"He talked about what had happened, and I mended his hand, it's going to be fine I think."
"What happend to him?"
I immediately feel tears coming. "It's bad Murtagh, really bad,"
"Claire? Ye look pale. Are ye alright?" Murtagh asks stepping closer.
"I don't know, it's all to much," I say and I start to feel dizzy.
I can hear Murtagh say my name a few times but I just faint of all the stress.
When I open my eyes a monk is holding cold cloth to my head. "Here she is again,"
"Jeez, you collapsed like a sack of grain, I nearly pissed myself," he says. "Sorry father,"
"I'm fine, I don't suppose Ellen told you did she?"
"Told me what?" Murtagh asks curiously.
"I'm pregnant, which probably caused my faint together with all the stress, but you can't tell Jamie, I want to do it myself,"
"If ye tell him he might fight for everything again," Murtagh suggests.
"I know, I thought about it but I want Jamie to fight for himself too, I don't want him to raise a child and that is what's keeping him alive,"
Murtagh nods and I walk back to Jamie.
He's sound asleep so I lay beside him, holding him close to make him feel safe like he always makes me feel.