The Bad Fairy (girlxgirlxgirl)

27. Nocturnal

"Are you asking for my permission?"

But Nayan is starting to get it now. He keeps his tone curt and cold. Cherelle has finally lost it. She wants to leave. After fifteen years, she has finally realised that it's better to be somewhere else. Anywhere else except here.

"No. I'm telling you." Chepi says, looking a little taken back by his question. Nayan doesn't come any closer. He maintains a distance, and keeps his voice cold. "Why?"

He doesn't want to do this. He knows, deep inside, that it's not fair and that it's wrong. That it's selfish. But he can't think complicated thoughts right now. He can only think straight. Chepi wants to leave. That's one burden off his shoulders. Maybe, if she's gone, he could deal with all the other problems without anything else holding him back. And then, once it's all over, maybe... they could all be happy.

"I don't know. You're my brother. Shouldn't you be more concerned about it?"

It's a childish thought, of course he is. And Nayan isn't a child anymore. He's young, sure. In his early twenties. But he's not childish. And yet, he is doing this. Putting on a slightly condescending tone to his voice, even as his words try to be kind.

"Alright. Fine. Why are you running away?"

Cherelle catches on to it immediately. Her eyes widen, and then fall into an expression of disgust.

"Stop treating me like a child."

Nayan doesn't blame her. That's exactly what he was going for. And he's probably going to regret it, too. But too many things are happening at once and he can't think complicated thoughts. He can only think straight. In one, straight line. And that straight line leads him all the way down to these words, and this decision. He keeps his eyes as cold as possible. But he does keep his eyes on her. He needs to look at her now, because if she leaves, he won't be able to see her for a long time ahead.

"I'm not. Now, answer my question. Why are you running away?"

Cherelle looks at him like it's obvious. There is an anger to her tone, an anger in her eyes. She is clearly upset. Annoyance is boiling underneath her skin. "Because you all hate me. Mom hates me. Dad hates me. Mom loves goblins more than she loves me. Why should I stay and serve a kingdom that hates me?"

Nayan waits a while before he drops it on her. He knows that he needs to say it. It's the truth, and it'll make her leave. It hurts but he's opening his mouth before he gets a chance to stop himself.

"You're not wrong."

Cherelle takes in the hurtful words immediately. They sink into her like one large heavy brick, settling on the bottom of her stomach, ugly and harsh and cold. Nayan can see it. She's decided, right then and there, that she's actually going to do it. She's actually going to run away. He doesn't know what to feel.

"Do you hate me too?"

Nayan doesn't answer her. His lips stay sealed shut. Because if he said yes, he'd be lying so hard, it'd be difficult to live with. And if he said no, he'd give Chepi the kind of hope that might make her stay. He doesn't want her to stay. He wants her to leave. He loves her as one would love a sweet, adventurous younger sister. He doesn't think she's ready for the world, either. But this place isn't good for her. And selfishly enough, even his own life would be so much easier if she'd be out of the picture. It's good for her, it's good for him, it's better for everyone. Why can't she just see that?