Lucky Man (Fruk)

15

We sat down at this dog park. We sat on one of the nearby benches as Orange ran off to play with the other dogs. "I'm sorry for following you out here. I wanted to try and make it up to you, but now I feel as though I can't get a word in," Francis spoke. He turned to me, but I didn't look at him. It was a nuisance...to say the least.

However...I don't think he understands.

"Look, I can't read your mind, and you can't read mine. So, I will make it easier. I'm not scared of what you can do if that's on your mind. It is only that I would prefer no one messing with the way I think. It feels...terrible. And you really pushed it this time. Even after promising you wouldn't do something like that again. How am I supposed to trust you now? So, I will try and get along with you, but there is only so much I can do or feel. Does that make any sense? I know you feel bad, but you must understand how I feel too. I really wanted to punch you—"

"Rightfully so..."

"Exactly, so, please, stop pushing it. Can't you leave it alone for now? I mean...really? I feel that around you; I can't tell what I feel or not. Everything feels jumbled up, as if you are projecting your feelings on me or something. So alone, I'm upset and angry, but I can't feel that way around you, and I don't think you realize you are doing it," I explained.

His eyes widened at me, and he looked like he felt bad to the point where he began to scoot away from me. "I'm...I'm sorry, I didn't realize that could have been happening...I just...really like you..."

"I know...but you can't control... your...luck... so you need to be self-aware of what you are doing."

I felt like I was lecturing him. Then again, I was always the type to lecture people. However, I've been lecturing him more than anyone else now—more than Alfred, which is a surprise.

"I'm sorry...so you feel angry with me when I'm not around?"

He looked really sad saying it. I took a deep breath out, defeated, and leaned against the bench. I couldn't tell if I actually felt bad or if this was his influence. "Do me a favour, can you....look away from me....and think about...I'm not sure...think about sweets or something," I spoke. He looked at me confused but did as I said.

He turned away from me and began to think. I only knew this because once he started, I felt more like myself. There was anger but mostly frustration. I was sure that his doing this made it so he wouldn't influence the people around him.

I looked around, and it was as if people stopped being happy and turned gloomy. His talking to me had caused everyone around him to change. They went from happy to gloomy...just like the weather. It had begun to cloud over even more, including hints of rain.

Most importantly, I felt more like myself as he turned away from me, more than I had felt in a while. I felt stunned that he had affected me so much, but also confused. I mean, I know he only wanted to be my friend, but the way he changed everything just from looking at me...was...insane...to say the least.

It caused me to feel bad for the way I was treating him. However, I can't change my mind about what I will do to him. It is for the best that he stays out of my life.  I would have been closer to him...I'm sure...if he did not do what he did.

If he hadn't messed with my head, I'm sure we would have been fine.

I looked at the back of his head, seeing his blonde hair tied together. Francis...makes me feel confused all the time. I mean, I was livid the other day, and sure, I was able to get over some of it, but now I feel torn between feeling angry with him and wanting to know more about him. I was curious only because of how he thinks. His thinking plays a part in his luck, creating a reaction. I'm only curious.