Heart of Heaven

Prologue

"Who wants gummies!?" My mom asked me and my cousins. We're currently at the park right now, having family time.

"Me! me!" my cousins eagerly responded in unison, surrounding her while raising their arms. I, on the other hand, am sitting on a bench while reading.

"Alright. Here you go, kids." Mom gave each of my cousins a gummy to settle them down. After that, she turned to me and asked."Heaven, ikaw? Don't you want one?"

"No thanks, Mommy. Hindi ako mahilig sa gummies," I plastered a smile and went back to reading.

"Ano iyang binabasa mo?" she peeked at my book as she sat bedside me.

"Harry Potter, as usual," I answered. "I really love this book. Hermione Granger is my favorite character!"

"Nak, why don't you play with your cousins sa swing? They're all having fun there while you. . .well, you're just here, reading a book. Buong araw, iyang libro lang ang kaharap mo. 'Di ka ba nagsasawang magbasa? " Mommy suggested.

"Mommy, reading is fun too. Mas nag-eenjoy ako kapag nagbabasa." I shrugged as I looked at her."Also, isn't playing too much bad for my heart? I can't run around, remember?"

I'm not like other kids. Kids my age usually play around and act childishly, but I'm different. Instead of playing in playgrounds, I read books and study most of the time. I'm not gonna lie, I badly want to play like they do. It's just that. . .I can't because of my heart condition.

But even though I have this condition, my parents—especially mom—still want me to enjoy my childhood. Yet, I know for myself that I won't be able to feel the same way as other children.

She always says every child deserves to have fun. I trust her with that, but I don't think every child has the ability to do so. It would be better for me to take care of my health than to fulfill my happiness. Alam kong ikakalumgkot nilang dalawa ni Daddy kapag mayroong mangyayari sa akin.

"I'm not telling you to run around. I'm just saying that you should interact with them." Mom replied to me.

"Thanks mommy, but I'm really just fine here." I plastered a fake smile.

"If you say so, hun." Mommy caressed my hair and kissed me on the cheek. I really love it when she does that."I'll be around if you need me." She said as she walked away.

I continued reading my book and minutes later, my monitor started to beep. I immediately felt a pain running through my chest.

This is not new to me. Madalas ko itong nararamdaman everytime na tumataas ang heart rate ko and I just have to drink my medicine. But the pain I'm feeling right now is different from the other ones. It's usually barrable but this one is too painful.

I placed my hand on my chest as the pain doubled. I can feel my heart beating irregularly. I feel like it's getting squeezed. I'm starting to pant and sweat heavily.

It's hard to breathe.

"O. . .okay ka lang?" A random boy came up to me. I looked up at him and saw his face for a moment but then my vision suddenly blurred out. My eyelids started closing by itself. I faught real hard, trying not to close my eyes because I know that I will lose my consciousness once they do.

"Mom!" The boy called for help. "Don't worry, my mother will be here to help you." He sounded nervous yet worried."Mom!Come on. Hurry, please!" he called again.

At that moment, I really felt like fainting or even worse. . .dying. I couldn't stop my eyes from closing anymore. As they finally closed, my body numbed which made me collapse to the ground.

"Ren!" I heard a woman's voice. . .calling someone before I completely passed out.

I woke up feeling dizzy. I looked around and found myself laying on a hospital bed, already wearing a patient's gown. Beside me were my parents. Mom was sobbing with her head down while Dad was hugging her with his eyes closed, caressing mommy's arm.

"Mommy?" I reached for mom's hand. "Why are you crying?"

Mom looked up to me, wiping her tears. "Oh, it's nothing honey." She held my hand gently as she plastered a sad smile.

I know she's lying. Mom is a strong woman. She wouldn't cry for nothing. She's probably crying because of me and. . .my disease.

"Mommy, Daddy?" I called the two.

"Yes, baby?" dad answered. I can feel the sadness hiding behind his masked smile. The two of them are clearly pretending to be okay.

"Am I. . .going to die?" I asked.

"No, of course not, baby. Don't say anything like that." Mom shook her head.

"Then why were you crying?" I asked, again. "Please, Mommy. Tell me the truth. I want to know."

"I. . ." she hesitated for a moment and then she looked at Dad, as if she's asking for permission. Daddy looked up in the ceiling and closed his eyes for a brief moment. Once he opened his eyes, he sighed and slightly nodded to mom.

Mommy looked at me with sad eyes.

"Honey. . ." she took a deep breath. "The doctor said that your condition. . .is getting a lot worse."

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