Chapter 18- Forgiveness

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It was written somewhere in the forgotten pages of an old book,
'No one can destroy you like your own mind can..'

Today that quote was coming to be true. Our mind is such a complicated mess of emotions, thoughts, ideas and memories. All of which combined can be sometimes too much for a person to bear. In such cases one might shut their minds off, to not think any more. That's called entering the blank stage where you make your mind go completely blank without a single emotions remaining in your heart. But the strange thing about mind is that it going blank is more dangerous than working overtime with stupid thoughts.

We think we are protecting our self by shutting ourselves out but instead we push ourselves in a bigger, deeper hole from where its impossible to return.

This was something that happened with Marcel before and this is something that's happening to fizzy now. The world of hers already lacked colors but now it was disappearing completely in front of her eyes and she couldn't do anything to prevent it.

So many people tired so many things to help her but nothing worked, hell she didn't even know herself what she wanted anymore. What she was feeling anymore. It has been four days since the incident but she has not said a word to anyone. She doesn't eat properly, she doesn't talk or even move. Even the rare moments when she sleep is broken by the terrifying nightmares she dreams.

Lottie tried everything she could to help her but with no result whatsoever. Louis or the king can't even come close to her as she freaks out the moment she sees any men or alpha in this situation. The Queen has spend tiring nights sitting on the chair by her bed to make sure she is there when her daughter calls but she never does. Even after waking up she keeps laying down on the bed looking at the ceiling with a blank look on her face.

The doctors were called but they clarified there was nothing they could do in such situation. It was something she needs to recover from on her own, at her own pace. Pushing her boundaries right now might lead to even severe problems.

If someone asked fizzy what was going on with her, why was she acting like she had no answer. You could say her mind was not stable at the moment which was acceptable considering she had been through a traumatic experience but was that the only reason?

She couldn't open her mouth to speak or tilt her head to look at her family beside her not just because of her fear but also because of her guilt. She was ashamed, nervous and scared. But she couldn't do anything to overcome those feelings. So why? Why this late at night she is standing in front of a door trying to gather courage to knock.

Ohh wait she knows why,
"If you can't sharing or talk about your feelings with us then please talk with Harry. I know how you feel about him but he is the only one who could help you.."

Lottie's words echoed in her ears as she remembered. Harry.. the guy who had completely turned her world upside down. The guy whom she hated, whom she wanted to disappear forever. The guy who protected her, who didn't expose her in front of the court, who helped her.

In her hands was the cloak he had wrapped over her before taking her in his embrace. She still remembers how she felt at that moment. How her body and mind immediately relaxed as she inhaled his scent. Grabbing the cloak tighter she closed her eyes remembering how betrayed and sad he looked when he found out the truth.

What right does she have to come in front of him and ask for peace. She was literally one step behind from destroying his life forever.. what gives her the right to ask anything from him instead of forgiveness. But yes! She should ask for his forgiveness, no matter what he replies atleast maybe then she will be able to breath a little better. Maybe after hearing him express his anger to her she can reduce her guilt a little bit.

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⏰ Last updated: May 05 ⏰

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