The Little Mistakes (boyxboy)

Chapter 16

Eryn Skyped me on Sunday. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about how I’d lost my virginity to a guy, though. With how he felt about me, I didn’t think it would be fair to gloat about it. So we talked about the usual things, just catching up with one another and throwing banter around.

His black eye from last week was practically healed by now, so that was good. And he didn’t try to force his feelings on me, which was wonderful. It was nice talking to him for a couple hours even if I was keeping something major from him. Simply seeing his face made me feel better.

Monday morning at school I stayed quiet as I followed my cousins through the building. Phoebe was chattering to her sister and Patrick wasn’t paying attention to anyone. I looked up at one particular time and saw Rikert walking our way down the hall.

He had a group of about five other boys walking around him. I tried not to stare, but couldn’t help myself. He was practically glowing when he laughed at something a friend of his said. As they got closer, I focused on walking straight without tripping over myself while still watching him out of the corner of my eye.

I glanced up again right when we were passing each other. I was hoping to get any sort of acknowledgment from him. And when he looked straight into my eyes--laughing at another joke--and nodded at me, I felt my stomach flutter. A smile was brought instantly to my lips. And in that moment I felt like I was so happy that I could die at any second.

And just as quickly, it was over. Rikert and his friends walked away. I felt a little empty as I followed after my cousins. None of them had even noticed a thing. Phoebe asked me some stupid question and I answered her while I tried to hold onto that warm, sizzling feeling I got from my brief interaction with Rikert.

Later I learned that Kieran wasn’t really talking to me. He answered anything I had to say to him with one-worded replies. It made French class almost unbearable. Why couldn’t he just try and see things from my point of view? He may have known Rikert longer, but he didn’t see that kind, affectionate side of him that I did. I thought Kieran was simply over exaggerating and being unfair.

During gym, Rikert actually ran next to me a few times--a minute or so each time. He would smile and ask me how I was doing. Nobody ever randomly asked me that and actually cared about what my answer would be. But now Rikert had done it, and I loved it. I was also pleasantly surprised when he bothered to reprimand one of his friends for calling me a rude name as he had run past. And right after that, Rikert patted me on the shoulder. Then he gave me one last brilliant, little smile before he left me alone for the rest of the hour.

In detention he behaved himself and stayed quiet. What I hadn’t been expecting about that was the intense desire I had to hug him and kiss him. Unfortunately, none of these things were possible in the small classroom. I couldn’t even speak to him. I thought back to last week when he had referred to detention as torture. I huffed, realizing exactly how true that description was.

Once detention was only a thought in the past, an hour later we were back at Rikert’s house. We didn’t have sex this time. As willing as I would have been, I was sort of glad that we hadn’t. It made me feel a little more confident in our new relationship. It made me realize that Kieran was wrong about this.

Rikert wanted more from me than just the intimate stuff. That’s why he only wanted to lay in bed today, cuddled up and hardly kissing but once every ten minutes or so. And even the kisses were tame and loving.

Rikert talked with me about things, too. Like how we were only allowed to do this at his house because his parents usually weren’t home before late evening. Or he told me that the only reason that he was still in the closet was because he didn’t want to be treated differently. I knew exactly what he meant by that and I respected it.

“What are you thinking?” RIkert asked after a particularly long stretch of silence from me.

I shook my head slightly and patted his clothed ribs lightly. “It’s nothing,” I whispered.

Rikert tsked at me. “Nonsense. You should feel comfortable enough to tell me anything.”

My heart rate picked up with the nerves. “Okay. I was only wondering...like I’m not sure what this--what this really is.”

“Oh,” Rikert said. “Well what do you want it to be?”

“I don’t know,” I said, not completely being honest.

“Do you want to be friends or do you want to be more?” he pressed.

“Uhm,” I said, fiddling nervously with my fingers.

Rikert stilled my hand by slipping his fingers in between mine. “Caise,” he said firmly. “Do you want to be my boyfriend? Is that what this is?”

“No,” I said hastily. My face flushed. “Wait, yes. I mean only if you want that. I want what you want.”

Rikert grinned and ruffled my hair. “God, you’re so cute, baby.” I held my breath, feeling my chest swell with joy. “I’d love for you to be my boyfriend. How’s that, settled?”

I bit my lip to try and hide how ecstatic hearing him say that had made me. I nodded as calmly as I could. “Yeah, that’s perfect.”

Rikert tilted my head up and kissed me deeply for a couple minutes. When he pulled back, he kissed the tip of my nose. He looked into my eyes and I noticed for the first time just how exquisitely green his eyes were. I smiled because they were the loveliest colour I had ever seen.

He brushed his thumb tenderly across my cheek, making me beam up at him. “I think you’re so good,” he said fondly.

“Thank you,” I mumbled before pressing my face into his chest.

“What else are you thinking?”

I hummed, trying to come up with things to ask him. “Are you an only child?”

“Got an older sister,” he said. “Her name is Liz. She’s twenty-two and goes to college in Washington state.”

“Oh,” I said. “Do you guys get along.”

“Yeah,” he said shortly. “Enough.”

“What are your parents like?” I asked curiously.

“Normal, I guess.”

I thought about his vague answer. “Are they nice? Do you think they would like me?”

Rikert grinned down at me and rolled over so that he could hover above me. My mouth popped open because he had caught me off-guard. My head landed softly on the pillow since it was no longer being propped up by Rikert. I looked up into his eyes, my mind filling with wonder.

“You’re so inquisitive,” he said with a smirk. He dropped down lower, setting his body against mine and bringing his face close. “How about we focus elsewhere, though, yeah?”

I swallowed thickly. That familiar feeling of anxious nervousness was making its way through my body. I nodded but the motion was hardly noticeable. Rikert leaned in and caught my bottom lip in between his teeth. He put enough pressure on it for it to almost be painful, but my breath only hitched in approval. Rikert carefully rolled my lip back and forth a few times.

He moved slowly, taking hold of my wrists and keeping them in place up next to my head. I started to breathe heavily, knowing how badly I wanted him and how amazing he made me feel. Rikert sunk his teeth in just a little bit deeper, making me gasp, before he let go.

“I didn’t hear you before,” he whispered huskily. “Did you want to carry on with questions, or this?”

My eyes widened in lust as I stared at him. “This,” I squeaked.

Rikert gave me a sly smile. “You sure?”

I strained against his hands that were pinning me down. I just wanted to touch him. I nodded, gazing straight into his eyes. I was hoping that was enough to make him carry on. He tsked again, the sound going straight to my heart and somehow my crotch at the same time. I whined.

“Please,” I whimpered.

“So good,” Rikert said into my ear.

I shivered and then he was kissing me.

********

“And where the hell have you been?” Marck asked angrily once I went through the front door.

Rikert had only just dropped me off. I could still feel the tingling on my skin from where he’d touched me. The taste of his lips was still present. I would have smiled--had already been smiling just thinking of him--if it weren’t for the interruption of my angry uncle.

I glared at him, my complacent mood Rikert caused falling away at the drop of a hat. “I was with a friend.”

Marck paused as he looked at me. “A friend? I didn’t know you had one of those.”

I opened my mouth in angered horror. I was about to yell at him when Kristian intercepted the argument.

“Sweetheart, that was rude,” he told his husband.

“Yeah!” I yelled.

“Sorry,” Marck said.  He turned to Kristian. “I’m just surprised, though. He’s not very friendly, you know?”

“God, I hate you,” I muttered before walking away more angry than before.

“Ow!” Marck yelled. Kristian probably smacked him.

“Shut up, you idiot,” Kristian told him. I was out of their sight, but I could still hear them. “You can’t say things like that to him. He’s got enough troubles and problems.”

I gritted my teeth angrily. I didn’t know why people always had to do this to me. Talking behind my back and saying nasty things. It wasn’t fair. Yeah, I put up a front but that was because of what they were doing. I tried to tell myself that I didn’t care, though. If I tried to convince myself that I didn’t care, maybe one day I would actually believe it.

“I know,” Marck sighed. “I just wish he would fit in. Play a sport, be nice to people. Then maybe people would actually want to talk to him instead of hate him.”

I bit my lip. The sting of tears that were threatening to fall were urgent. I sprinted down the stairs. Patrick was in his bedroom with the light on and the door open. I didn’t care, I ran right past it, not stopping until I was in my own room, slamming the door shut.

I threw my rucksack down onto the ground and kicked at it. A few tears managed to escape and that only made me more upset. I swore and grumbled furiously, still kicking at my bag. The poor thing was probably going to be useless after a while of this. I didn’t care, I didn’t relent.

“Jesus Christ,” Patrick said, walking into my room.

I froze, staring at him with wide eyes. I must have left my door unlocked. I guess I had just been that agitated. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I swiped it away as quickly as I could.

“Go away,” I told him firmly, breathing hard.

Patrick hesitated. He looked at me with a bit of confusion and concern. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I said to leave me alone,” I said loudly. I crossed my arms as if trying to hold myself together.

“Why are you in here screaming and crying?” he asked, ignoring my request for him to leave.

I bit my lip. It was soon becoming one of my favourite habits. I shook my head at him and wiped away another tear. Thankfully, they were slowing down.

“I’m not,” I tried. The look on Patrick’s face said it all. “I’m fine. Just please go away. I don’t want you here.”

Patrick gave me a funny look. Like he wasn’t sure what to do. “Fine,” he said fiercely after a moment. “Be a dumbass then. See if I care. Just try to be more quiet when you bawl like a stupid baby. It’s inconsiderate.”

His words made my blood go cold. His tone was filled with so much venom that I actually visibly winced. I hated him and I hated everything. I fell down onto my bum on the floor and pulled my knees close once Patrick had retreated.

My thoughts wandered around from sadness to anger, then to loneliness. And finally all I could think about was how I wanted to be with Rikert again. He made things better. He made me feel good about myself unlike Patrick or my uncle. He said nice things to me.

I just want Rikert, I thought miserably as I sniffled into my jeans.