Loki oneshots

Spider-Man's Not A Party Trick (Iron Dad)

Tony's gaze shifts to the boy next to them – using the phrase "next to" loosely; even he stepped away the moment Tony approached. "You must be Ned, then."

Ned's eyes go wide. "Uh, yeah," he stammers. "Err, yes. Sir. Yes, sir. I am. Yes." He plasters on a very fake, very uncomfortable smile.

Tony huffs, amused, and turns to MJ by his side. "And you are...?"

MJ cocks an eyebrow. "I am wondering why you as an adult man are talking to a teenage girl you don't know."

Tony blinks a few times, staring at her silently as he tries to formulate a response.

"Sorry," Peter says quickly. "Ignore her."

Tony looks at him questioningly. "So she's... not... another friend of yours."

"Well..." Peter glances at her awkwardly, and even though he's fairly sure she wouldn't take offense to him saying 'no' given that she herself has said that she doesn't have friends, a part of him would feel weird just saying that.

MJ steps in with an answer of, "I'm certainly not friends with a war profiteer whose company sold weapons to whoever was going to kill the most civilians with them."

Again, Tony is left speechless.

Peter, meanwhile, finds himself flinching at the comment. "MJ, please don't–"

But then Tony cuts him off, a slight smirk on his lips as he says, "Smart kid. Keep speaking your truth."

Now it's Peter's turn to stare at him wordlessly. That's his reaction? He likes her? Why is he...?

Tony's attention has already shifted. "Hey, they got snacks here?" he asks. "I'm starved."

And just like that, he walks away. Peter spares a nervous glance at Ned – who looks just as confused as he feels – before going after his mentor. Tony's in the kitchen, already stealing a piece of pizza. Peter gapes at him, as one is apt to do in the presence of one of the world's greatest heroes, though this probably isn't what most people would picture when they think of him. Why does he feel so comfortable here? He wasn't even invited! There's no reason for him to even be here!

"Mr. Stark–" Peter begins.

"Mm." Tony holds a hand up while he finishes chewing his first bite. "Oh, this is good. Where's this from?" He closes the lid of the box to read the name, then opens it back up. "Love this."

"Mr. Stark, what are you doing here?" Peter asks again, more emphatically this time.

"I told you, I'm looking for you," Tony says. "And also eating pizza."

Peter just stares at him, dumbfounded. Tony Stark really is his own breed.

Tony walks up to him and puts his smoothie-holding arm around his shoulders, his pizza held in the other hand. "Walk with me."

"Uh..."

Tony leads him back through the hall, where absolutely everyone is staring at them. If he's looking for some kind of positive out of this, at least now they know he's not lying about the Stark internship. (Except that he is, obviously, because it's not an internship, but he does spend all that time doing hero things, which basically makes it Stark-related).

"You're gonna have to open the door," Tony tells him. "My hands are full."

Peter was very much not aware that they were going outside, but, when they reach the front door, he slips out from under Tony's arm and opens the door for them. Tony gestures with his pizza for Peter to go first, and he spares a wary glance back at Ned before he steps outside. Tony follows shortly behind him, closing the door so they're alone.