I will never let you know what is inside my heart, these secrets that keep getting harder to keep but i can't so i will write it down instead.
He said;
"My dear, please don't ever leave me"
I said;
"I could never do that, i love you"
I need you more than the oxygen i breathe in, i need you more than my mind needs sleep, i need you more than my own life. I could never say this to you, but i am utterly obsessed with you. I am insanely addicted to you. I am completely in love with you.
My heart wants you and you alone so much that trying to move on and love someone else only makes me feel physically and mentally sick. It overwhelms me, my heart aches for you. My dearest, i need your love, your affection, your attention, your validation, your company, just your entire existence. I need you to be beside me. My love for you grows stronger in ways you will never know. I want to be yours, and for you to be mine. In a way, i want to be your girlfriend but without ever actually dating you. Does that make sense? I want you to tell me that you love me, in a way that is intimate. More than just a platonic type of way. I could lay with you all day and night, just the two of us. Understanding each other, i don't care what we do together. I love you so much; it actually hurts. My soul burns for you. The way i love you is the kind of love where i wonder what it would be like to kiss you. What would your lips feel like? I can imagine the kiss being warm and soft, but i would have to kill you if i ever told you this side of myself. I wouldn't be able to live with myself anymore~! Is that bad? I also want us to be only intimate with each other, no other close friends. If i ever found out you were in love with someone else, i don't think i would be able to comprehend it. You're always on my mind, you live in my very soul. Every song reminds me of you. Your compliments don't feel like just compliments; they genuinely make me feel weak. I stop thinking. I always want to share everything with you. I wouldn't even mind serving you my entire life, i would sell my soul for you. I don't think i will ever be able to be the same anymore. I need you. I love you so much that i wouldn't care what you did to me. I'd let you do anything, even if i would normally feel uncomfortable with others doing it. I want to be with you but i know i can't be. I wonder if you would want to hold me down and tell me that you love me. If you want to watch the sunrise together. Stare at the moon while being cuddled together. My darling, is my dream possible of coming true? Would you ever return these feelings? Will we ever know what we both truly feel for each other? Or will it forever just be; you doing things that makes my heart literally feel weak. We don't know much, but i know my love for you will be the death of me. I don't want nobody but you... And since i love you, i am okay with suffering from these feelings everyday. For you i would suffer my entire life just to stay with you. But you won't ever know that either.
