Chapter 19.

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Meredith

I'm now getting close to my second trimester of my pregnancy and I've started to put on some weight.

It's not really big news that I'm pregnant and the only people that really know are Derek, Amelia, and Maggie.

But now that my stomach is starting to grow some people are starting to notice. They don't really say anything, they just look at my stomach and then at me and pretend like they don't know.

This means Nick has also noticed.. I mean he's seen me naked before so of course he knows that I've gained weight, and my boobs have gotten slightly bigger which he's also noticed.

Whenever we talk he stares at them thinking I don't notice. Derek has definitely noticed because he pays a lot more attention to them, not that he's not always paying attention to them. After all, he is.

He's also been a lot more affectionate ever since he found out I'm pregnant which is nice.

The OBGYN said they it would be best to take lighter shifts and not work as much due to my infertility and I'm always working.

I'm trying everything I can think of that would make this pregnancy have a higher chance of survival but almost everything I do causes
stress.

Amelia and Maggie have doing a lot for the kids which helps so I can rest for longer and the kids love spending time with Derek so he'll take the younger ones out to the park often.

Zola is a little too old for those kinds of things so she usually keeps quiet to herself in her room but sometimes she'll go over to a friend's house.

But for the most part, I'm in my office doing paperwork which isn't that stressful, I'm just ordering new supplies for the hospital, signing papers, and giving my opinions on things.

Every so often someone will come into my office and rant about something someone did, it's usually Amelia but I occasionally get to hear about Maggie's meltdowns

But this time it's Derek, ranting about Nick. Ever since Derek's been back on his feet and back to work full time he's been on a few cases with Nick and it always seems to end in an argument.

Derek says he tries his best to keep his hatred for Nick at bay but Derek's never really been good at that so I'm not sure I believe him. I believe he believes he's doing his best.

And Nick doesn't really care too much about kicking his hatred for Derek down.

In Nicks's head, some guy from my past came back and ruined what he had going on, but in Derek's head, I've always been his wife so you can imagine how he felt when he found out I had been with numerous men while I was still married to him.

But had I known he was alive all this time I never would have had relationships with other men. But I had never expected to hear from Derek ever again.

"I swear it's like he's doing it on purpose, he could page any other surgeon for a neuro consult but he always pages me," Derek says. He's pacing across my office as I'm sitting at my desk working.

"Meredith, are you listening?" He asks as he stops in his place.

"Yes, Nick purposely pages you so he can argue with you," I say.

"Are you okay? You've been a little distracted lately," he says as he walks over to me and sits in the chair in front of my desk.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just trying to make myself busy with things that won't cause too much stress, that's all," I say as I grab a new pen.

"I think you're thinking a little too much about the whole stress thing, you're stressing over stress," he says.

"Well, I have to be careful because if I miscarry this time and we probably won't be able to get pregnant again and I don't even know if we'll want to.. I just don't want to let it slip.. if there's something I can do to prevent a miscarriage then I'll do it," I say.

"And as great as that is work can still be stressful even if you're trying to be get stressed. Even paperwork can be stressful. How are you feeling right now?" He asks.

"I feel fine. Maybe a little nauseous," I say.

"Then why don't you go home for a couple of hours? Take a nap, and get something to eat. All the kids are at school so you can relax for a while.. and you don't have to think about work or the kids.. you'll have nothing to worry about," he says.

"There's always something to worry about," I say.

"Like what?" He asks. "Baileys staying a bit longer after school for tutoring.. I spoke about it to the tutor this morning when I dropped him off and she said it could be ADHD or ADD. She said she would look out for it and if she thought he had anything we should take him to a specialist so he could be diagnosed," I say.

"Well if he does then we'll be extra cautious and we'll get him something prescribed," he says.

"I read somewhere that those things could have side effects that lead to depression and that could cause suicidal thoughts and cutting.. Bailey's only nine and I don't want him thinking about those things," I say.

"Then we'll get him on anti-depressants," he says.

"I don't want him taking multiple kinds of medications at such a young age," I say.

"Okay, why don't you worry about that when you're not pregnant and let me worry about that. The only thing you need to do is go home and get some rest," he says.

"Fine," I say. I grab my things and kiss Derek goodbye before leaving the hospital.

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